Trying makes it worse

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Scream58 you are not alone.

I'm here...if u want to share

[EternalFlower]

Hi 

Feeling endless hate and regret towards myself

I left the hospital in tears yesterday after an awful meeting

My case manager was really rude and lied in the meeting, calling me names.

I will likely discharge myself from the hospital, they can't make me attend. I'm done.

[Former-Member]

Morning @EternalFlower,

It sounds like you've had a tough time with your case manager, and I'm so sorry to hear that it's caused what sounds like a high level of stress/distress. How are you feeling this morning? Have you been able to resolve any of the issues raised yesterday?

[maddison]

Are you ok @EternalFlower ? I understand those self critical inner voices you are experiencing. I don't want you to be going through this. Consider that there are also inner voices that love you & you are perfect, they are quiet at moment, & difficult to hear. They are there.

I am on your side. It makes me angry that you are going through this. I believe you that your vulnerabilities have been taken advantage of in a broken system. I am here for you if you want vent.

Can you get in contact with your psych doc? He seems to be on your side.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @maddison no stress at all if ur taking some time out this weekend...

I had an awful few days and had an attempt however I stopped myself

I got hospital support via phone and I found it helpful.

It is scary that it had to get to that.

I am considering asking for a new case manager....I don't know that they will asthey previously said no

I also thought I'd say I need to have another meeting with the consultant psych before I meet with her again

I don't feel safe with her.

[tyme]

Hey @EternalFlower ,

I'm so sorry to hear how awful the last few days have been for you.

Please know you can reach out to crisis services 24/7 if you feel the need:

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467

Samaritans: 135 247 

If in immediate danger: 000 

It's hard when you feel your case manager isn't the best match for you. You can only ask.

All the best,

tyme

  

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Former-Member I feel a bit mixed, I've had some good support from my own private Dr and also from peer workers.

I don't feel that the solution they provided sits well with me

They said I have a weekly time now with case manager at same time every week

However, there is also a mh group I'm starting at that time, and also I don't really feel that plan is a good one anyway

I don't know if t he y can offer someone else in the room, but being alone with her at this stage seems risky. She is not transparent and seems to want to paint me as a nutter and has a sort of sick pleasure in my pain

She is a nurse as well, but her personal rapport and warmth is non existent.

[maddison]

Hi @EternalFlower ,

Thankyou for reaching out to me & having the courage to share your experiences over the last few days.

I'm proud of you that you were able to call hospital services & thank God you stopped & were able to get the help you needed.

I am in in midst of crisis while I write this. On hold with triage, while they find if any ITT available to come to house.

Housemate had relapsed & I'm desperately trying to get him hospitalised. It is scary & stressful.

Ok - they will be here in around 2 hours.

We have had stressful time lately. I also think that, because he is in similar situation to you with his cw, things have escalated and become too much.

It is heartbreaking to me that you have not been provided competent cw. I don't know what we do from here @EternalFlower Keep being an advocate for you & I will keep trying for my friend. It's a mess.

[maddison]

Hi again @EternalFlower 

My last post was a bit jumbled. Things are chaotic here. I can feel the adrenaline pumping through my body.

I meant to ask you, how are going today!?🙂

I also think that's a great idea to  arrange consultant psych before seeing your case worker. Your feelings of 'not feeling safe with her., are important & valid. Having someone else in the room would also be helpful, if possible.

You also mentioned that 'it was scary that things had to get that point." I don't really know how to respond, I didn't want to overlook it either. It meant something to me that you had to go through that.

I am still waiting for ITT. They will probably be an hour. My housemate is coherent, very elevated, confused & suffering. Going to try & have nap now. I am going to have to insist he is hospitalised. I have seen this before & it deteriorates quickly.

 Thankyou @EternalFlower 💐

[maddison]

Hi @EternalFlower @Appleblossom @tyme 

I've written an update on the carers forum -our stores, if you are interested.

I'm half considering reading it to the nurse when he comes back tonight.

Xo