Trying makes it worse

[TAB]

That's okay @EternalFlower things still unraveling here. Good day yest, bad day today. Wondering what I am doing. Really could have done without most of today's events. Just hard. Pack , leave, drive. Time Pressure self imposed and justified. Questionable actions. Was driving to a traffic stop, realised my lane was blocked , so cut into other lane was doing like 20.. looked, indicated ok
Briefly. Official there lost it, waving arms, yelling, talking trash, baiting me. I said nothing . Wasn't sure what planet he was from. He seemed convinced i was worst driver in world and had caused him
Great Offence. I said nothing. He threw out 4 different lines chasing a reaction. Nothing. Did throw me tho., not a normal occurrence for me. Tried to talk myself into believing he was right lol. Ok poor judgment. And if lane wasn't being used where were signs etc? Directions? Just a monkey dance and smart A commentts after i made adjustments after realising had been boxed in then got tired , and kept on going. Arrived at accom super negative. Thinking what is all this about lol
Sorry. Venting. I live alone as well. Sometimes I need perspective Thats good you got support

[EternalFlower]

Hi @TAB 

How are u ATM, back home? That sounds extremely scary, frustrating and not nice, it is not OK...

It doesn't sound like you did anything at all and that u wandered if u did....because he was so aggressive

I'm awake late again, have had awful anxiety.

How long have you lived alone? It isn't working out for me for a few reasons.

I hope you feel better being home, sometimes it takes a few days to shake off dealing with an asshole, I can relate.

[TAB]

Still awake here I came over early to get clothes for funeral. Wont be home til week after @EternalFlower
Most of last 20 years lived alone. Its fine to a point

[maddison]

Hi @EternalFlower ,

How are you going?

I have been catching up reading this thread.

I have been away for last week. I did not plan it. One thing lead to another, and I needed to reset my mental health.

It seems you have had some dark times in the past week. Are you feeling any better? I'm sorry I was not online. I will be online this week🙂

I enjoyed reading yours and others comments. I hope you are finding a way forward 💗👍

[EternalFlower]

Hi @maddison 

I fully understand, was Ur time out helpful? Hope u got a real break and reset. ❤ 

[EternalFlower]

Hi @TAB I hope Ur negative experiences on the road didn't affect u too much,  people are so toxic sometimes....

I remember accidently throwing away someone's 2 dollar coffee at a servo...seemed like a wealthy man, had qn expensive car, he lost his composure and screamed at me for ten minutes, I offered to buy him a new one, he refused.

Some ppl just scream, which is awful,

I slept a bit last night but had a very intense day, I am a wreck.

[TAB]

I would have walked away from Loser you mentioned @EternalFlower  .. anyway, today was light years ahead of yesterday.

am moving accom tomorrow now, seems,,going for a look at scenery/ testing a fewthings wanted to do lol

[maddison]

Hi @EternalFlower 

It's great to have your support. Thankyou! 

[EternalFlower]

Hi @TAB hope Ur keeping well

Hi @ @maddison no problem!

Hi @wellwellwellnez 

I went back to work yesterday and I don't think I coped well

I was sluggish and tired and just trying to get through

today I still feel that way

I'm supported in the public system and honestly during crises it doesn't help 

So that's scary. I find my friends more reliable , and ppl who have experienced trauma or struggle

I called the hopsital and have tried to set up a session tomorrow, left many messages.

The session woild be with my case worker, and a support person. I hope it works out

They are difficult to work with 

[Paperdaisy]

Sorry to hear that isn't helpful in crisis @EternalFlower but I think it's really great you have identified what does work (friends or peers and people who have lived experience). Wishing you all the best for a session tomorrow. Sounds like you are taking some proactive steps 💝