Trying makes it worse

[maddison]

Hi @EternalFlower 

How are you?

Thankyou for acknowledging that we share similar roadblocks when it comes to keeping house tidy and organised. I do feel a touch lighter! 🙂

I hadn't considered the perspective of being proud of myself to be able to prioritise it lower over other things.

I'm not proud of the mess, in any way - I value order & cleanliness - I feel calmer in that it is a (subconscious) choice & because of that, other things have been able to prosper because of it. 

I completely relate to the shame. I would not have people inside either. Not at the moment anyway, it is particularly bad. 

Thankyou for your support relating advocating for friend. I worry about the system being broken. It is difficult for me, & I am not directly in it. I know what you are talking about regarding the fear of being expelled. We have been through that. I think it lasted around 6 months before re-hospitalisation was needed, thus back in the system. I knew it was a mistake to begin with, & he (my friend) was terrified. 'Like taking away the handrails.'

Change of pace🙂 that got sad! I hope you have relaxing weekend. (I might not be around much - till Monday) The rain has been fun! I'm enjoying the weather too. The only thing better than rain, is hail!😊 I heard it last night. 🌃

U r amazing @EternalFlower 

[EternalFlower]

Hi @TideisTurning @maddison I am interested in trying the blue knot foundation

I called once but found it tricky to get connected to a counsellor kn the weekend 

Perhaps I'd try during the week, thanks for that ❤ 

[EternalFlower]

Hi @TAB I am unable to change, I tried though...so now it's trying to get her to do her job,

I called today to do weekend safety planning with her and she was extremely rude

She is very blunt and asks, where are you now, what are u doing, u have to answer me, u have to tell us things so we can help u....

She says stuff like that

I have to feel comfortable and She has to be less rude,

[EternalFlower]

Hi @maddison 

Thanks that made me feel better, knowing that  others feel the same.

Messiness is also hard for me in my home.

In hopsital I kept my space very messy. It might sound silly but since u have drs and nurses seeing Ur whole clothing hoarde on the floor, I had shame

I'm at home watching a show and drinking Milo, the show has a tiger in it.....I'm wandering if it's real lol

How's Ur evening @TideisTurning @TAB @Paperdaisy @wellwellwellnez @Scream58 

[TAB]

Sorry I have been busy @EternalFlower

[EternalFlower]

Hello @Appleblossom @TideisTurning @Paperdaisy @wellwellwellnez @tyme 

Hope everyone's well and finding nice things on the weekend to keep busy and entertained, or with mothers or daughters or chosen family or alone....

I am feeling a little anxious, I was unable to get support on Friday when I needed it so called the triage on Friday and Saturday. 

I found them helpful ish. 

I removed all the clutter and unpacking from my lounge into the spare room, on their advice, as I had stopped cleaning when unwell. I still struggle a lot wirh clutter and organisation.

It gets messy so quickly as I lose energy to put things away.

My friend said she will call my case manager tomorrow on my behalf, me alone I am unable to get her to support or care, she repeats platitudes and talks over me.

On Thursday she spent 20 minutes talking before asking me to speak, and mostly told me about how ppl use the service, what they choose to do in the service, and ways they interact.

I said ok but that doest apply to me, and can we maybe talk about me specifically.

I had to be very forceful and said bluntly, I order face to face meetings (after 20 minutes not letting me get a word in edgewise tqling me most clients like to meet phone or telehealth over face to face)

She is quite abusive at times.

I hope my friend has better luck tomorrow.

[Appleblossom]

Sounds difficult. @EternalFlower  I decided against doing Diploma of Community Services as I got that kind of vibe about the training ... so that will effect the workers.

Sounds like you have a lot of good coping skills, it sounds the problem is more about believing in yourself and keeping on the good path.

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom yes she is a RN which I did not know, it is odd to me that an Rn would behave that way. That is sad the training is such, I hope u found a course u felt was more empowering

It is a hard role as there is a degree of honestly abuse that happens in systems like this, they use our vulnerabilities against us.

[maddison]

Hi @EternalFlower 

How was your weekend? I'm sad to read things are difficult with your case worker. It is so similar to what we are experiencing. I totally get the bluntness you are describing.

My weekend was ok. I get confused at Mother's Day. I was kind of the mother in my childhood. I had really nice day nonetheless, spending time on my own. I finished crocheting a beanie. Do you do any type of crafty things you want to share?

Hope you are ok @EternalFlower 🌷💗🌷💗

[maddison]

Wait. You didn't know if it was a real Tiger?

@EternalFlower