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Fluffy01
New Contributor

Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

Hi everyone,

 

I am in search of help for our son.

This is a complex situation and we believe a failing of our local mental health.

 

We were told our son is either" evil or mentally ill".

 

Our son was told  "your mother is too supportive we think we will diagnose her too"

How is this behaviour allowed? 

Our son has been taken to Brisbane to a high security mental health unit as a threat.

 

We have been told by the psychiatrist to smooth things over with the local team who were derogatory to our family and unprofessional.

 

He committed no crime and was complying with all he was asked to do.

 

This is our Mental Health system where it seems there are no rights for the people suffering at the hands of a broken system.

Thankyou for listening. 

 

9 REPLIES 9

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

Hi there @Fluffy01 

A warm welcome to the SANE forums. Thanks you for sharing your story about the struggles you and your son have had with the MH system. It  sure feel as if you have been let down and not had your rights upheld. 

I'm sure the forum members will be able to offer you support, information and connection. I'm the moderator on duty right now.   Feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum. You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works  https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage#community-guidelines

Take care.

Whitehawk

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

Hi,

 

It is great that you have reached out for support on this forum.

 

I really feel for you and your son in this situation. Unfortunately police are very poor at handling mental health crisis. I have had some very unpleasant experiences with police when I have been suicidal.

 

I would recommend you contact QLD Advocacy Inc. who have lawyers who can provide advice. Or look into other mental health law services. Also Independent Patients Rights Advisors through local hospital service.

 

Although it must be a horrible experience for you and your son, it is also an opportunity to seek more support. It sounds like you weren't getting adequate support previously, so ask about what supports are available to help once he is released. Work with his treating team to put plans in place to support him in the future and if their are similar crisis incidents again.

 

Although your son maybe upset and annoyed by what has happened, it would help if he trys to see it as a opportunity to get the help he needs. Being a secure place it should be a safe place so he cannot hurt himself or others. If he is having scary thoughts about hurting himself or others it can be reassuring to know that he is safe from acting on those thoughts. Often support services overreact to the thoughts I express and take them as a threat, even though I wasn't intending on acting on my scary thoughts, so I have learnt to explain that I am not intending to act on them, and specify the thoughts that keep me safe. But this doesn't always work for me. It is easier to express his thoughts clearly  if he is able to remain calm, so this is a priority.

 

It is good that at this stage he has not been charged with anything by police or incarcerated in criminal institution as this is common and brings additional stress & costs. Although involuntary mental health services are not good, many mentally ill people are put in prison instead which is much much worse.

 

Best of luck with it all & continue to seek support online and in the community. This is a very stressful time for you and is likely to be emotionally tiring, so be kind to yourself: take time off work or other commitments, accept help with household tasks, and self-care to get you through.

 

CrazyChick

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

I'm so sorry to hear you and your son are going through this.
It's a terrible state of affairs.
I've also suffered a lot of abuse, stigma and misunderstanding/misinterpretation in the mental health system

It's really hard, when you need support to be treated in such a traumatising way

I went through difficulties lately in Tasmania and found legal aid very helpful and supportive.

I also made complaints through the hospital complaints system, which helped me get more understanding of the fact that I was looking at my experience from a trauma perspective, rather than a medical model perspective and needed to get understanding of that as an individual

What you can do, and how, varies from state to state.

It's worth calling legal aid, or if there is a dedicated mental health legal service in your state, contacting them.

Your son should also be able to get a free trauma counselor through the Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of persons with Disabilities because of how he has been treated.

You can report to the commission too though they can't directly do anything for your son, it can hopefully help raise awareness of just how badly people are sometimes treated in state mental health services.

I'm so sorry you've been going through this.

Hope things improve for you and your son

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

@Fredd50 I am so annoyed that so many mental health services use a medical model of care, when it is so inappropriate. Person-centered, recovery-based, trauma-informed models much more helpful and proven better outcomes. 

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

That is nothing short of disgraceful.  Maybe advise the Qld Chief Psychiatrist of what happened.  Try and find a local carers group to give you support and suggest options for better care for your son.

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

There must have been a reason or incident that your son was taken to a high security unit. I think he needs your love and support. I hope he improves and that you are treated with more respect in future. I know how hard it can be as a parent

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

Thanks for that one. I thought that was a really helpful comment but the story about the "medical model" conversation also spurned a bit of reaction in me. Makes me wonder how much some of mine and others issues have been centered around modelling (or the modelling contract for that matter).

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

Hey @CrazyChick

I just logged in after a long time 

Seeking comfort seeking solace 

I was accepted into a law degree and thought I would reinvent myself as a human rights lawyer 

Learning all about the social model 

Of disability

That all traits are diversity

And disability especially for people

Who just aren't allowed to be or belong 

Is not a flaw to be corrected

But diversity

Genes- environment- trait 

That's just being human 

Calling some traits undesirable'

Is wrong, eugenics

The social and rights based models are so strong

But the morality has plummeted

Nobody has heard of psychosocial disability

The changes that there were in national plans for trauma informed are gone

All the hope I had of one day living in a worll 

Where I was accepted

Is gone 

I don't know what to do 

I just feel empty 

Like I have no future 

The dream of being accepted and valued as an equal part of diversity

Not a disease 

A disorder 

Something to be eliminated

Poor mental health meaning not "functional"

In a world set up for a narrow mind body type that sees no value in my traits 

I walked in my imagination

So many times 

Sure it was scary and dark there 

But phenomenonally complex 

Images and stories 

I have a really great psychologist 

Who supports me 

My community here in Tasmania

Is far away from the troubles of the world 

I got into a law degree 

There's so many things I should just be living 

But I just keep feeling hurt I can never go home to Victoria

 Because they just moved back to the 1950s

 Even my mum who was my staunch supporter

Has gone back in denial to cope 

I don't know how to deal 

I'm sorry to pour l this out on you 

When I don't even know where you are or if you're in a lockdown state 

But I felt suddenly so scared 

So alone 

Not knowing a single other person who is like me 

And dreams of being accepted

And valued  

Just for who they are 

Not have it driven out of them 

Learn what those stories of mine I walked in mean 

Embrace being me 

Maybe even learn to wonder in my imagination in a cool way 

And write the stories into books

 

It would be so cool 

 

But I feel like even though there's paid people who support me in this 

Which would have been a dream last year 

It feels like so much is missing 

I've had to let my family go 

Live separate lives 

I might never see my parents before they die 

And I have no people in my life who feel this way 

Everyone sees their experiences as an illness 

That I know 

A problem 

And the dream of human rights, of equality 

Of diversity 

Won't ever be 

I don't know if I can live with that 

I just don't 

I'm so sorry to pour this out 

I hope things are ok wherever you are

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Degraded + detained by the people meant to help

Hi @Fredd50,

 

Well done on being accepted into a Law degree and aspiring to be a human rights lawyer. It would be great to have someone with lived experience in an advocacy role like that. And the training should help you advocate for yourself too.

 

I do agree that diversity should be valued and psychosocial differences and trauma be respected more. It means so much to be accepted unconditionally. So often it feels like we are judged so negatively for being different. Many people say they will support, but mental health challenges can easily scare them away. People often say they don't know what to do to help, but so often all that is needed is a kind person who takes the time to listen without judgement.

 

Lockdowns and covid restrictions make things even more challenging for those of us with mental health challenges. They make it so hard to maintain contacts including family, friends, and even paid supporters.

 

Best wishes for these challenging times. I hope you can find support on this forum. 

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