Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Useful resources

Stixmagiggins
New Contributor

Advice on care for brother

Hi there,

 

My 50 year old brother lives with my 72 year old father who is a hoarder in the flat they own outright. My brother had a breakdown years ago and suffered from drug abuse and has no prospect of working or looking after himself. I rarely see my brother but the whole family know there is no way he can care for himself. We tried to get him to a family Christmas years ago and his anxiety and frustration caused him to destroy the table with all of the food, plus he threw a beer bottle over the fence. Lucky nobody was injured. The loss of temper was over a disagreement over him playing his music while we had lunch. I see my father every so often but when I try to ask about his hoarding and how to deal with my brother when the inevitable happens he either jokes or has a non-adult response. My brother can't live with us. He rarely showers, is very unhealthy from terrible diet and drinking during the day, and apart from a couple of decent friends he has tended to gravitate towards some dodgy people. He is on medication for anxiety and depression and over the years he is gaining weight and drinking or sleeping during the day. We really don't know what options there are for him once my father is too old or passes away. We are all worried and we need to have a plan in place. I don't see it possible to approach my brother about this knowing what he is like. We love him but the situation is very difficult. Any advice would be great.

 

Thanks in advance.

1 REPLY 1

Re: Advice on care for brother

 

Hi, It an be hard to have good mental health when you have issues with drugs and alcohol. I feel it is hard to give the right kind of support when it is so close to home. I would encourage you to contact a drug and alcohol referral service called ADIS Phone: 1800 250 015. That would be a good starting point. As for your fathers issue I would encourage you to call the Hoarding and Squalor helpline on 1300 345 852. Given he is elderly there are supports in place. Best wishes and I hope that helps.

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance