Running

[Ru-bee]

@avant-garde it's clear that you've taken some time to consider both your own point of view and the view of others and have expressed yourself in a very gentle way which is still very clear on your own thoughts, beliefs, and needs, while still being sensitive and respectful to others.

I think it's very well written 

[avant-garde]

@tyme 

I have a sensitive theological question I was wondering if I could ask you

[tyme]

Hey @avant-garde ,

Ask away! Sorry, I've been on leave so I haven't been around.

[avant-garde]

@tyme 

I knew you were going, just wasn't sure when

Content/trigger warning

In the book of Esther, did King Ahasuerus rape Esther?

[tyme]

Hey @avant-garde ,

I've never come across the understanding that this happened. Do you have a specific chatper and verse that you are questioning?

I've read it many many times, but that interpretation has never crossed my mind.

I'm here if you want to talk about it.

[avant-garde]

@tyme 

My dad used the book of Esther to support what he did...

What I'm reading... marrying age was 14-15 and so Esther would have been younger than that. The idea that Esther was taken from her home for the king also suggests that what happened was outside her control... that to disobey the king... well we know what happened to Queen Vashti... the law had just been passed that said men were the masters of their households... it is fair to assume that the night with the king was not for mere conversation as after that night the females were sent to stay with the concubines when the king had asked for virgins to start. 

Therefore the question is... could a 13 year old consent...

[tyme]

I hoenstly don't see it that way. @avant-garde .

TW: Rape

Content/trigger warning

In the Bible, when rape occurs, it clearly says so. They will use words like 'defiled' etc. I'm not sure why it would be different here? 

[avant-garde]

@tyme 

It's worth noting the context of the instances of Dinah and Tamar

Content/trigger warning

Were they both not raised in Jewish society? Where Esther concealed her Jewish heritage, raised amongst gentiles.
What then happened in that room with the king that night? 
Did they "know each other" that night?

[tyme]

I personally do not think so @avant-garde . I will re-read it and pray about it.

Despite the contexts, I still think it would've been clearer if it DID happen.

[avant-garde]

I've been grappling with this so much...

TW: abuse and exploitation

Content/trigger warning

I wasn't even in school when it started... when my dad started... when my future was decided and my worth was discarded... but it wasn't until I was a teenager that I was told how worthless I was... how I had to be a certain way to be worth anything... that purity was everything and who would want someone like me... with my track record... told I was destined for this life...

If if I'm honest... I don't see my worth... those beliefs my dad ingrained in me are still there... those beliefs... those thoughts... that darkness... 

TW: Bible

Content/trigger warning

 And for the record, I do believe Esther was like me. She would have been young too, she would've been of marrying age in Persia and she would've had no way out. just. like. me.
She dealt with horrible events too! [edited]

She wasn't valued either!

I feel as worthless now as I've ever been. 

[edited]

Not even my former social worker thought I was worth continuing with. 

Does anyone see worth in a little girl who is done trying.

@moderator - I know what you're going to say, so I edited it before you said it.