Skip to main content

Forums

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,267,714Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Running

Re: Running

@AuntGlow 

I keep thinking, keep hoping, that maybe there was someone in authority, someone who could have done something to stop my childhood happening, that didn't abuse me...

But I don't think there was... I don't think there was a single authority figure who didn't fail me growing up... that didn't abuse me... didn't hurt me...

And I hate that even now I'm still realising how devastating my childhood and upbringing was...

How can this world be so horrid that for 21 years I had no adult help me find safety? 

It isn't right! None of this is right!

Re: Running

Hey @avant-garde, sounds like you have been through a lot as a child, and it's totally understandable that you would want these questions answered. Have you reached out to the Blue Knot Foundation? I know they are the best people to support you and want to think that you are getting the support you deserve. RiverSeal ❤️

Re: Running

@RiverSeal 

I am aware of Blue Knot and have called them on multiple occasions for years now. Their hours are quite limited though and you typically need to call before 3:30 to get through and have the time to talk about what you need to.

Jynx
Peer Support Worker

Re: Running

@avant-garde seems you're working through some difficult thoughts and memories hun. Want you to know we see and hear you. It can feel extremely destabilising hey - my psych calls it re-lensing, i.e. having to go back and look at your life through a whole new lens. 

 

TY for sharing the journey with us, I hope it feels like you're in safe hands 😊💜

Re: Running

@Jynx 

You'd be right. I needed to hear that.

Re: Running

@avant-garde I can feel how painful this has been for you to not only experience, but process and sit with throughout the years. None of what happened to you was right or fair. And I think I have said this before, but I want to say it again: You deserved to feel safe and protected by the adults around you. And I am so sorry you weren't. I wish there was something more I could do, but please know I am always here to listen. I know it's been a couple of hours, so I am wondering how things are feeling for you now? 💛

Re: Running

@AuntGlow 

I had church and then got distracted with creative pursuits

Re: Running

Ooh, would love to hear more about what your creative pursuits looked like? 🥰 @avant-garde 

Re: Running

@AuntGlow 

I have a lot of creative pursuits and am finding it difficult to remember last night's...

Today though I made cute little baskets for my friend to fundraise with. 

I picked up 3 palm sized baskets and only wanted the wire one so I had these little soap flowers and a spare handkerchief and made them look pretty for my friend to sell. 

 

Then I finished making rubbish bag rope to tie the minion plushie to my brother's letterbox today.

Re: Running

5 things I can see

  1. My dreamy plushie held tightly against my chest
  2. My blue starry sheets
  3. My Ariel cushion under my head
  4. My blue fluffy snuggle cushion against the wall
  5. The sleeve of my sleep jumper that I'm wearing

4 things I can feel

  1. My blue sleeping bag behind me
  2. Yoga block under my right foot
  3. The rough skin on my heel
  4. The smooth edge of my tablet cover

3 things I can hear

  1. The birds outside my window
  2. The radio I have on
  3. The ticking of my clock

2 things I can smell

  1. The rose geranium in my roll on essential oils
  2. The washing detergent on my clean clothes

1 thing I can taste

  1. The salt rinse I just did

 

Content/trigger warning
I was scrolling on the home page and the second recent topic asked what sex looked like.

I already knew then that I was/am triggered and so typical me thought of others in more vulnerable states and so clicked it and flagged it for a trigger warning, the damage for me was already done.

 

Still shaking, still not ok.

My favourites

Members feature!Log in to add spaces, events and discussions to your favourites.

Members online

No one is online right now. Hold tight and someone will be along soon.