Running

[avant-garde]

@rav3n 

TW: abuse

Content/trigger warning

My dad really got into chocolate at Easter... I became incredibly popular as a result... due to the optional extras... school holidays didn't help my popularity...

There was NOTHING positive about ANY holidays...

[rav3n]

awh i wish i had the right words for you @avant-garde i wish i had the power to erase all this pain. i'm so sorry that your holidays were never a safe time for you, and i imagine that there's a lot of grief around not having a childhood like other kids. 

i understand that people deal with trauma in different ways - some work on their inner child and provide for themselves what others didn't provide them. some like to 'reclaim' the day by replacing it with new, safer memories. some take time to reflect and grieve, and acknowledge/validate their experience, etc. everyone's different, so i'm wondering what works for you? how do you like to be supported?

[avant-garde]

@rav3n 

I'm at a stage where it's needing to feel safe enough to be heard and validated... I've had my Easter funeral, my inner child is being her playful self with this Easter hunt, we have our adventures...

For so long it was being made to be silent, so the reclaiming happens in being vocal and understood, because I've always been told to keep quiet... nobody needs to hear your history...

[rav3n]

@avant-garde Easter funeral and being playful with your inner child sounds perfect. 

your history is yours to share, and we will always be here to listen. we want you to feel heard, to feel seen, and i hope you know that i see you. i hope you know that your feelings are always valid, and i'm always ready to listen to you. i trust and believe you, always.

i gotta hop off soon, but i really hope you continue enjoying the egg hunt and that this week gets better for you. night 💙

[avant-garde]

Hey @Jynx 

[Jynx]

Hey @avant-garde be floating about in bg till a bit later, helping out w the webinar tonight!! Just FYI

How are ya tho? 

[avant-garde]

@Jynx still recovering, feel like I'm always recovering from some emotional turbulence or hiccup

Having fun counting all the eggs?

[avant-garde]

@rav3n 

I want to be honest... I don't know what to do or where next... I don't know what my options are or what is going to help right now...

The social worker I was seeing through one of the Medicare mental health centres left me in the lurch to survive on my own with no "next steps" except to wait potentially another 6 months for me to reach the top of another stupid waitlist...

I've looked at the guided programs but with only using mobile data I don't know if it would be feasible... or if there is even benefit for me doing it...

[avant-garde]

@rav3n I feel so alone and deserted and broken and it hurts so much

[rav3n]

hey @avant-garde being left with no next step and further info about other supports sounds awful, i'd expect them to provide you with some sort of alternative option!! i'm so sorry to hear this, i can hear how that would make you feel alone and deserted. sitting with you 💙

you're not alone here though, and guided service would definitely be a great option - i believe the zoom calls would probably be your main concern in terms of mobile data... i'm wondering if there's free wifi at your local library or cafe? in my library we can book rooms for privacy, is that an option for you?

in the meantime, there are also services like 1800 RESPECT and Relationships Australia that could provide you one-off support. i wonder if @Jynx knows more about other supports.