Running

[avant-garde]

@Jynx nonograms, picture sudoku, using the numbers to identify what squares need that colour to create a picture

[Jynx]

Ooooh nifty!! @avant-garde is it just an online thing you found or do you order them from somewhere? Looks fun!

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

*Breaks down shaking and crying*

[Jynx]

@avant-garde 🥺🫂

With you hun 🤞💜

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

How could he! I was his daughter! His daughter! 

How come it took 20 years for someone to finally help me! 

I told teachers, pastors, my school nurse for goodness sakes! The police didn't do anything! 

I was just this black sheep of a daughter who made up stories about her dad!

They weren't stories! They were real! And they didn't care!

[Jynx]

Not being believed is bad enough @avant-garde but to be a child, with no power, no social capital, no way to advocate, and be shut down like that - it's just a million times worse. You needed someone to be in your corner, and they let you down over n over. I'm so sorry hun. 

I'm gonna be logging off soon so I can't stay to chat longer. I am sending you hugs 🫂 strength 💪 and solidarity 😉

This moment in time will pass. Your brain may not believe me, but you will be okay. I have faith in you 💜

[avant-garde]

@Jynx 

I'm usually alone with all this feeling, so thank you for being here, it is so much worse alone

[avant-garde]

@tyme 

It's been a long and exhausting day

1. The first bus didn't turn up
2. The ent waiting area was the same as maternity
3. Every time i relax I just get hit with flashbacks

No matter how many people tell me that my body responded normally I find it so difficult to believe that I didn't enjoy it.

[tyme]

Hey @avant-garde ,

I'm hearing you and can certainly see how exhausting and long today was for you!

It's no wonder it is exhausting if, when you feel relaxed, end up with flashbacks. It takes a lot of courage to work through these flashbacks, and it can be quite draining.

I cannot tell you what to, or not to, feel, but I want you to know you are not alone in this.

You deserve all the care and support you can get in your life so that you are able to live life the way YOU want.

[avant-garde]

@tyme 

At least these flashbacks were familiar, not the first time I've worked through them, to be expected with police interviews in 3 weeks, body reminding me "you need details"

Processing is required otherwise I'll ruminate on them