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Something’s not right

Fluttershy1
Senior Contributor

Struggling with everything

Things just seem all too overwhelming, I wish it was easier and not as overwhelming but it is. 

Family issues are still about and I haven't even heard from my own dad which really upsets me. None of my family understand my MH. I feel so alone. Constantly fighting voices because I'm distressed 

 

Having heart surgery in 13 days is making me extremely anxious. I have many fears around that. It just feel all too unsettling. 

I hate feeling this way. I feel so alone and unhappy. 

am safe

642 REPLIES 642

Re: Struggling with everything

Hi Candydipper1

i too am having problems with my sister. Just the two of us am the oldest FWIW. She is so tied down with things she rarely if at all contacts me. I always have to make the first move with something. Then a one sentence answer. I have half an idea whats getting to her but am only guessing

Sometimes we have to be the ones who reach out sometimes we dont get an answer, when stressed it makes it worse as loneliness and sadness affect our wellbring

Believe me I dislike having to contact my sister knowing she replies whe she wants to. i have 4 ways of contacting her and its always up to her Even when i want to talk she some how cant make the time

Keep reaching olt to your Dad as i do with my sister. I know its tough

 

 

 

Re: Struggling with everything

Hey @Ricardorider

even though I try to reach out to my family they never answer or never return my calls. It's really sad. 
I tried mending the relationship with dad but he didn't even put effort into contacting me or seeing how I was. 

Re: Struggling with everything

Hi Candipper1

YEs i know what you are saying.  When family let us down we feel that bit more stressed.

Are you talking to a counsellor at all?  i use lifeline to be able to verbalise things whne I cant get hold of my sister. They are very good listeners at lifeline  and they understand that we are stressed out and give us the opportinity to talk about  aheap of dfferent things. Lifeline do a great job

Re: Struggling with everything

@Ricardorider - I'm a quiet person all up. 

Re: Struggling with everything

hello @Fluttershy1  I completelty understand as Ive been dealing with bad mental health as recent as last night and yes alot latelty I too have felt like when Ive needed family to listen they have been either unable,busy or simply dont understand whats been happening with my mental health recently behind the scenes when Im on my own so Ive ended up turning to friends from online dating or as I cal them peers,cause sometimes complete strangers understand far better than those close to you,believe me I completelty understand that particular feeling of ditress so much so I felt the only ones I could call where lifeline and I called them multiple times a day the last week in particular as family was unavailable when I really needed emotional support,and Lifeline definetly help me get through this week,to be honest Ive closed off from family in recent days,I dont feel like they',ve been there when I needed them so badly it does feel very dishearentning when your already highly emotional ,sometimes it seems family doesnt want to listen,mind you I kept trying to reachout but maybe not clearly enough and everyone was busy,Im sorry your going through something simular at the momment as it does hurt,sending hugs your way my friendHeartHeartHeart

Re: Struggling with everything

Hi @LostAngel

It seems so hard trying to stay happy around family, I'm a very quiet person and I find it hard to trust people because of my c-ptsd and my past history. 
I feel so stuck and alone sometimes. 

Im also quite anxious about my ♡ surgery coming up soon. I haven't had much info about it. 

im safe

Re: Struggling with everything

@Fluttershy1 

 

Hello @Fluttershy1, Just read your post and would like to write a bit more. I expect to return in half an hour

 

Best Wishes

HenryX

Re: Struggling with everything

@Fluttershy1 

Hello Candydipper1

 

That feeling of being overwhelmed is difficult to deal with. Often times I have found that feeling anxious and overwhelmed does not necessarily have an identifiable reason for its existence. Often, it probably develops from a number of issues in our life, and seems to be triggered by one of those events. Consequently, it is hard to pin down, separate and deal with.

 

From what you have written, it appears that the foundation or basis of the feelings is disappointment with not hearing from your dad and other family members. This, I refer to, for the purpose of discussion, as a chronic issue which has probably built up over a fairly long time. By the sounds of it you have struggled to try to maintain contact with your dad and other family members. This type of situation can have a long term wearing down effect. I have experienced much the same issues with my family as you have with yours.

 

Then, what I might call an acute problem, for the purpose of discussion, comes along and triggers other physical and psychological health issues.

 

You say that you are

Constantly fighting voices because I'm distressed”.

Is this because of a diagnosed mental health issue, or is it your 'self talk'? A number of people on the forum, including me, experience this 'self talk' as a form of internalised continuation of the judgemental and critical feedback given by others, often those close to us, over a period of time, even from childhood.

 

The 'acute' issue seems to me to be the heart surgery in just under two weeks time. I can certainly understand the feeling of anxiety that is evoked from the prospect of heart surgery. My experience might be considered less fearful and not so unsettling. I have had three 'fusion & laminectomy' operations in the last twenty years. While the back operation gives rise to less concern and fear, it is still sobering to think that I am relying on the operation to allow me to continue to remain independently mobile. Even though the operations have been successful with regard to mobility, I still have high levels of pain to deal with and limited sensation in my feet. I could have more pain medication but it could mean I may have to relinquish my driver's licence, which I don't want to do.

 

The operations, all involve a certain element of risk, as you have, no doubt, been informed. Prior to the operations I would visualise consciously handing over my body to the surgeon. We basically do the same thing, although not so deliberately, when we use a taxi, bus or aeroplane. Each of those activities probably carries a higher statistical risk rating than most operations. Yet we hardly give them a second thought.

 

By this 'handing over process', we can consider ourselves being part of the process, and in so doing, take an active role and exercise some control in the operation, at least until the anaesthetist commences their part. After that there is some intensive care for commencement of recovery.

 

It was actually a surprise to me, waking from the anaesthetic and feeling relatively normal, apart from understandably sluggish thinking. The next surprise was to do with how quick the recovery process was. After all this is the awakening of a newly found admiration for all the people who have been part of that process. And that was the way that I dealt with my fear and anxiety, before and after the operation.

 

I hope that these details will help you in both the short and longer term

 

With My Best Wishes

HenryX

Re: Struggling with everything

I'm sorry to see you like this @Fluttershy1
You deserve happiness and good things my friend - never forget it and never think that how you are treated is a sign of what you should think of yourself. You are far more. A far more grander person and a far better human than that. Keep going my friend. We are here to support you awesome friend:)
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