Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

SpiderLady
Senior Contributor

Sick and Sad

Hello everybody,

I am still sick with flu symptoms and not improving. I did get tested for coronavirus and it was negative, but "they" say that if you are sick, stay at home. So going nowhere, seeing noone and feeling really miserable. I cried most of the day yesterday. I wanted to download some music this morning from iTunes, and I can't even do that today. They are supporting the Black Lives Matter movement and so are "closed", which is great, but why today when I really need cheering up. Yes all lives matter!!! I am bored of watching DVDs but feel too unwell to do much else. It's also really cold here and my usual comfort of a cup of tea isn't helping. So lonely.

12 REPLIES 12

Re: Sick and Sad

Hi @SpiderLady ...sorry you are feeling so lonely and sad, not to mention being sick. I find it lonely being sick, too. I hope you can keep warm inside the house?

 

Can you listen to music you've already got? That doesn't take any energy, and might cheer you up a bit?

 

I hope you feel better very soon.

Gwynn
Senior Contributor

Re: Sick and Sad

@SpiderLady, your local library might subscribe to freegal music: it gives you something like four hours of streaming music per day and 5 free downloads of songs per week. https://freegalmusic.com/home . You might also be able to stream videos from your library.

Sorry to hear that you've had a crying day. Hopefully today will be better for you.

Re: Sick and Sad

Hi @NatureLover, I am sick of the music that I've got. I want something new and different. I should be used to being lonely by now, but I'm not. I have had no friends etc. for over 2 years now. I feel like I have had this flu forever too. Every time I think I feel better and go for a walk, I get sick again. My unit is so small and cramped, the drains stink despite using various drain cleaners and the water pipes bang and groan when the other units use water. The house out the back has dogs that bark and bark and bark at all hours. I realise now that there is a lot of anger and frustration at the base of my sadness. I had planned to move from this small minded town and actually had flights and accommodation booked to find new digs when coronavirus closed the borders and cancelled all non-essential travel. I couldn't get a refund etc. for the accommodation but the flights are on hold. I just want to get out of here and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

Re: Sick and Sad

Hi @Gwynn, thankyou. I just checked and my library doesn't have that option. I can watch videos through Beamafilm from my library. I actually have plenty to watch but am sick of just sitting and watching a screen. I have just realised that I am more angry and frustrated than sad and that a need for new music is actually a need for a new life in a new location. I hate my unit and I hate the town that I live in. I was "tricked" and in a many ways forced into moving here. Then I got stuck until this year when I inherited some money and planned to move to somewhere that I am more likely to meet people like myself and have more medical and social options. Now I am stuck and trapped because of coronavirus and my own health at this moment.

Re: Sick and Sad

@SpiderLady  It’s understandable you feel angry. Being in a small noisy unit while sick. it’s not nice at all.

If the restrictions ease, will you be able to move somewhere more suitable, or will you health hold you back?

I don’t know if you read, or do crafts, but sometimes they help, depending on concentration of course. Sending you some 💜💜💜💜🌸🌸🌸

Re: Sick and Sad

Hey @SpiderLady. When it comes to new music have you tried Spotify? You can have it for free with ads or pay to have the adds removed. You don't download the music just stream it. There is a large variety on there that should keep you busy. Do you like anything in particular or wanting something completely different?

I do hope you start feeling better soon. Sending you warm hugs.

Blep 😸:tongue:

Re: Sick and Sad

Hi @Maggie, thankyou for your kind and thoughtful words. I am angry about some very deep rooted things that involve my upbringing and traumas that occurred because of that upbringing. It is awful being in this unit, but the anger is more about the reasons why I am stuck in this unit. It's very long and complicated... When the restrictions are lifted, yes I will be able to move and fully intend to. I do read and do crafts, but the problem is that I have chronic pain that limits those activities to such a short time (and then there seem to be too many hours left before bedtime). I am grateful for your suggestions, thankyou.

Re: Sick and Sad

Hey @Blep, thankyou for your ideas and kindness. I appreciate the suggestion of Spotify. I think that I was just sick, sad, frustrated and angry and really needed to tell someone. I have no friends or family and support workers are only there during certain times, if they aren't in meetings or talking to other clients. Later that night here in Australia, when the new day dawned in the USA, iTunes opened up again and I was able to buy the music that I wanted. I did want specific things and my taste at the moment is for the quite bizarre and obscure. For example I was keen for some Cabaret Voltaire, which I enjoyed listening to today with headphones while sitting in the sun. I think that Cabaret Voltaire would have to be an acquired taste. Quite strange noises recorded electronically and distorted and manipulated to make a kind "tune". Not like relaxing kinds of electronic tunes, it is more jarring and intrusive, but exciting. Unfortunately the popular stuff just doesn't do it for me. I wish, in a lot of ways, that my taste was more conservative so that I fit in more easily, especially in this backward town. But good news for me, I am feeling a little less flu-like today and so must be on the mend. I will take it easy for a few more days though, to be sure. I was also having trouble sleeping (that makes me irritable) and had terrible headaches. I worked out that it was medication that I was changing to. So I stopped that, and went back to the old stuff. Had a better night's sleep and headache much better today. I am much less grumpy now. Thankyou again.

Re: Sick and Sad

@SpiderLady  I understand a long, traumatic, complicated upbringing. I really am sorry you are caught by the roots there. Tricky to navigate, and tricky to cope with. I’ve been dealing recently with some memories I would prefer not to deal with.

I also live with chronic pain, RA and OA, so lots of things I used to do, I can’t now. I sucks, big time. So I understand to some extent, what you are struggling with.

Thanks for your reply. Sending you some 💞💞💞💞💞

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance