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Re: Please help me / advice / hope

@BPDSurvivor 

 

That is true, you are inspirational. I am diagnosed C-PTSD, Chronic depression and anxiety. There is no magic pill, there is no magic wand and like you have to live with BPD, I have to live with CPTSD. Like your mindset is challenged, my mindset is challenged. Like you have symptoms every day, I have symptoms every day. It's a daily challenge and largely depends on how you perceive the illness you have. Acceptance is and was hard. I still struggle to accept it when I'm having a not so good day. I'm learning though that people can still like me, even love me. I think when we learn to like/love ourselves people will like/love us too. 

 

One of the things I find is whatever mental illness we have, the challenges we face are also challenges people that do not have a mental illness face too. We can learn off each other. 

 

I'm not saying I've got it all worked out. I don't. I'm not in a good place right now. I'm just doing my best with each moment. 

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

Hi @Powderfinger @Ellan ,

 

How are you travelling? Just thought I'd check-in.

 

@Powderfinger What you mentioned about people not understanding those with MH is quite true. What I also believe is that MH will hit you at one time or another. People will not understand until it hits them or someone close to them. Mental Health issues is not a respector of persons - any class, caste, status can be affected. 

 

I guess it is about learning to understand ourselves better as well as how we fit in the context of others.

 

Take care my friends!

BPDSurvivor

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

Hi @BPDSurvivor 

I've been doing ok. Came out of my sadness yesterday for a few hours which was nice, been a few weeks since I've been able to do that. But unfortunately went straight back into it after that. I feel a little more in control of my sadness though. I can see hope and I feel determined. 

 

I am in Victoria so isolation has been a hard time, don't have much to do, just been sitting in bed, deep in my thoughts, which I know is probably not very good for me. I just don't know what I enjoy doing anymore. I have no hobbies or interests, I just feel drained of life. Trying to maintain my 'ok' feeling is exhausting enough 😞

 

Thanks for all your help once again, I'm glad I can come here to chat and meet other people who are struggling 🙂

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

Hi @Ellan ,

 

So good to hear from you! 

 

Covid19 has hit us in a way we know not. It is a once-in-a-lifetime event which we have never heard of before. It is understandable that our bodies and minds go into a state of shock and confusion. And certainly, being in stage 4 restrictions doesn't help!

 

It was difficult first wave, and in terms of my work, it is definitely more difficult this time. First time round, being at home was a sort of novelty. However, the novelty has worn off and reality has hit. I see many falling around me. Not being able to cope with the stressors of today. 

From the beginning, i've set my mind to understand that this is the new normal. I learnt very quickly that there was no point saying 'If things were different' or 'but we are waiting for things to go back to normal..' I guess this is about living today for it's worth and making a difference to today. I know it is not easy. 

Please be kind to yourself. You are human and have every right to struggle and feel down. This reminds us that we are human. It is OK to have ups and downs. It would be great if we only had ups - but that's not reality. Thinking we always have to be 'happy' is actually a trap and the very thing that brings us into depression. 

Although you may have downs, there are ups to come. I'm sitting with you on that.

 

My thoughts are with you. Please reach out as much as you feel the need to. We are here. We are listening. We are with you.

 

BPDSurvivor

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

@BPDSurvivor 

 

Hi there,

I'm not too good today. Yes, it is true. MH like many other things does not discriminate. No-one is immune. 

 

This world I live in is not one I like. 

 

Take care. 

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

@Powderfinger ,

 

You're quite right. This current world is not a pleasant place. But I guess we have just got to make the most of it.

 

What do you think would help you at this time @Powderfinger ? What will help you find some space between you and your feelings?

 

Im all ears.

 

BPDSurvivor

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

@BPDSurvivor 

 

That is a good question. I'm not sure. I've had a really bad day with no relief. Very intrusive memories of my father happening all day. I'm too tired to even think. So, I just sit. That's all I can do. I don't feel well. I have my partner with me. 

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

@Powderfinger @Ellan @Teej @Gwynn @Claire_85 ,

 

How are you all going? I'm just dropping in to say hi and want you to know you are in my thoughts.

 

BPDSurvivor

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

Thanks for the check-in @BPDSurvivor. How are you?

 

I've had a hard week overall as I've been having a mixed episode but things have been much calmer the past couple of days which is a relief. And I'm finding I'm getting better at managing my complex medications myself which is postitive. Time with my dog and in the garden has been useful. I planted lots of basil seeds recently which have come up beautifully. Also have tomatoes etc growing.  

 

I realised today that I haven't socialised with my friends face-to-face since late February because of COVID mainly. I could really meet a friend outside somewhere now but everyone has been really busy so it has been complicated. I'm trying to work on it as a goal. 

 

Best wishes for the weekend

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Please help me / advice / hope

Hey @Claire_85 ,

 

So good to hear from you! 

Your gardening sounds awesome! I love the idea of growing basil and tomatoes - perfect for spag bol. Do you like cooking?

 

Having a dog it great. They help get you out and are such good companions. I don't have a dog now, but Ive had two in the past - a Labrador and a border collie.

 

I capable as I seem on the outside, i find handling my meds a mammoth issue. I've come to the point where I've handed that over to the chemist and my doctor. The doc writes the scripts and sends it to the chemist, the chemist makes a blister/Webster pak, then delivers it to my house. It has helped me a lot. When I controlled my meds, sometimes I took more, sometimes less, sometimes I'd totally forget, other times I'd make a mistake and take the wrong med. so now, when the doc thinks I need more/less, they liaise with the chemist. That's all off my plate now.

 

As for COVID, I haven't been with friends since March! I'm in Melb, so I still cant see them. It has stuffed me around because I love going out and chilling at restaurants. It'll be a while before I can do this again. I'm on holidays at the moment, but will be returning to work in two weeks (onsite) - it means I get human interaction then but, like you said, it also means I'll be a lot busier.

 

 Anyway, any plans for the weekend?

 

BPDSurvivor

 

 

 

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