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Something’s not right

Einahpets
New Contributor

Please Help...

I have a 19 year old female relative that is currently struggling with mental illness. First of all, we have no idea what is going on. It started about 5 days ago. Out of no where she kind of snapped. Her mother rushed her to the hospital and while in the hospital she would mumble things like "God help me" "I am God" "Someone help me" things like that, she would stare at you with a blank stare. They gave her a drug test, came back negative. She left the hospital the next day and seems to be a bit better since but still has problems. For example, she carries around a picture of her father who passed away last year, a light saber her father made for her, a stuffed giraffe around her neck that her father gave her, a backpack of books that are special to her, she wears a poncho who mother gave her, carries a blanket that is special to her, and a couple other things. She will not put them down or take them off for nothing. She wont let her mom go anywhere without her, when she is with someone important she tries to get them to go home with her and stay with her. It's almost like she is afraid and wants people around her. She seems to have a great long term memory, can talk about past things with no problem, but if you ask her what day it is or anything like that she has no idea. She was at her aunts house who still had some Christmas presents off to the side for a family member, when she saw them she asked if it is almost Christmas time. She celebrated Christmas with the same aunt and a bunch of other family, so she should know Christmas was just a few weeks ago. She also does not like to be touched. When family went to give her a hug she almost looked scared and didn't want them to. Now this all happened out of no where. One minute she was just fine then the next she seemed to have snapped and hasn't come back. Don't know if it is due to trauma, her father passed away last year from pancreatic cancer, she just moved a few hours away for college, don't know if she just had too much on her plate. Whats scary is doctors don't know what is wrong currently, she has more appointments coming up. We don't know if this is something long term, short term, how to help her, anything. Does anyone have a similar story or know what could be going on? Please help if you can. Thank you.

3 REPLIES 3
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Please Help...

Hi @Einahpets

This definitely sounds like trauma. She is exhibiting separation anxiety which is something I experienced when experiencing complicated grief. She would be feeling extreme fear of abandonment. Anytime someone leaves the house or moves out of her sight her mind is telling them they will not come back. That she will be all alone. She is convinced of this and is not feeling safe. This sounds like from what you posted, the result of losing her father and not expressing this grief (suppressed). Were they very close - I would say yes by her reaction. Her protector was gone. She may not be coping with his loss feeling "all her love is gone" also. She doesn't feel safe in the world and would find it hard to cope with basic things. So she clings and is needy feeling extremely  insecure as a result.

Moving soon after the death of a loved one to an environment where she didn't have any emotional support or was unfamiliar to her would of compounded the loss, grief and the feelings of being alone and unsafe.

I would also be inquiring where possible if any incidents of bullying or any kind of abuse could of occurred at college To eliminate any other cause. And if ocassional reactional drugs were taken to cope (not all can be traced if taken previously).

I experienced similar (but worse) when I had a mental breakdown. Medication was nessecary to ease the anxiety and also sedatives (in a emergency as they are a hard habit to break and can make anxiety worse in the long run). Your relative will need intense grief/trauma counselling, a lot of love and reassurance. And when she is on the mend encouraged to spend some time on her own, go out for a walk on her own etc as long term avoidance can result in agoraphobia (I suffered this) and virtually one has no life but in the home as anxiety becomes a monster that controls. This can be avoided with the right help.

Instilling a sense of confidence, hope and faith that all will be alright is part of the healing. All the above was necessary for me. It will be quite a journey to come back from with baby steps.

I hope your relative is better soon - it's a huge concern for family members and can take its toll on them as well, so if all family members rally round for support it will also help tremendously. Hoping everything gets better for all soon.

 

Re: Please Help...

-Enigma-

Thank you so much for the ray of hope you have given us. Everything you've said has made sense. Since its so unknown right now what's wrong with her my whole family is thinking the worst. I'm praying this is what is going on, the doctors said it could be schizophrenia which scared us all. But everything you've said sounds like what she is going through. Thankfully our family is very supportive and ready to help her in any way we can. She is such a smart and talented person, we just want her back and want her to be OK. Thank you again, I appreciate it so much!
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Please Help...

Your very welcome @Einahpets . Please keep us updated with her progress and if you ever want to talk about anything just tag me 😊

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