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Not sure what to do !!!

Got a question , a problem , kind of ??   @Sherry , @Appleblossom , @outlander , @Determined , @Faith-and-Hope , @Jacques , @PeppiPatty , @Dec , @Sophie1 , @Sophia1 


unsure what to do as mum has been in hospital for nearly 4 weeks so far after her hip surgery and as well as having reoccurring bowel obstructions

mr shaz and my cousins think my mum is scared of going back to her house

been getting the house rearranged and sorted for her to come back home

I have been visiting her everyday and sometimes I wonder if she is developing dementain

got a transistion appt to develope a home plan for the near future , I am asking my aunty to be there with me

I sometimes think she is not ready to go home

779 REPLIES 779

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

oh @Shaz51  my dear dear friend, it maybe time to think about a nursing home, if you can get her into home close by you could visit her everyday, she would have 24 hour care and you know if she does fall she will have someone to help her

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

@Shaz51  all I can add is that from observing my close friends wait too long to move their mothers into care it was very difficult and dangerous - both mothers had several falls that could’ve ended much worse and the mother with Alzheimer’s ended up wondering the streets at night at least 6 or more times returned by police to the house in the middle of the night - they were so lucky she was looked after by kindness of strangers when found 


Now both mothers are in a care centre designed for Alzheimer patients and frail aged - their lives and their children’s lives are sooooo much better - the mothers have round the clock attention and care and safety ... and my friends have their lives back - they used to be on constant vigil in case of mothers falling or roaming .. now they can at least relax that they are safe - it has transformed everyone’s lives for the better - albeit a complex and lengthy process to get there it was so worth it ... that’s just one couples journey I witnessed - my parents are not quite there yet so can’t speak personally 

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

my dear friend @Jacques 

in our small town , our hospital has 2 wings which one is used as a nursing home , so maybe I can get her to go in there from the main hospital

the other question is ¬ when to do this "

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

in our small town , our hospital has 2 wings which one is used as a nursing home , so maybe I can get her to go in there from the main hospital

the other question is ¬ when to do this " @Sophie1 


Re: Not sure what to do !!!


Respite might be an option, I think up to 60 days is allowable. That way, Mum could get a bit of extra care as she recovers and you are not committing to anything.  It would also give Mum an idea of what living in care is actually like (vs what she believes it to be).


Re: Not sure what to do !!!


When to do this was your question, if there is a space available, perhaps Mum might be happy to go straight to respite from hospital as a "rehab" step, see how she goes and take it from there.

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

one step at a time ay @Darcy 

going to try to talk to her doctor too xx


Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hi @Shaz51 that is the million dollar question, it is really good it is part of the hospital, if your mum is not coping at home it is the best option, it would reduce your stress and give you the time to spend with her. Quality time.


It is really a tough decision, maybe you could speak with her doctor or a nurse, they might help you decide the next course of action, hugs my friend. 



Re: Not sure what to do !!!


Speaking to doc first is wise.


To clarify I was not suggesting using all 60 days ... just some of them. If Mum is well enough to come home you might want to use more of the respite days for when you have your holiday.


A person I know who works in aged care suggested that having a few respite breaks familiarises people with how living in care works and after having all their meals provided and other needs attended to they will often decide they prefer it to living on their own at home. 

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