Need a little encouragement

[blue_wren]

Hi everyone... posting here for some encouragement. I left work this afternoon feeling really anxious, and have a big inclination to drink wine to relieve the anxiety. Of course I know it won't relieve it though, it will only make it worse, and tomorrow I will feel all kinds of horrible. 

I'm cooking myself a nice dinner, and trying to sit with the uncomfortable feelings. Guess I just want a little support from you. There's not a lot of informal support in my network right now, only professionals who I need to book appointments for..

Anyone out there that can relate? 

x

[Jynx]

Hey @blue_wren, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with resisting urges to drink. I definitely struggled a bit with cigs in the past, and I also really struggle with impulsive behaviours sometimes cos of my ADHD. 

Something my psych told that kinda helped was that these things (alcohol, shopping, sometimes even eating and sex) are used as 'external regulators' - i.e. when we feel ick inside and can't find internal ways of soothing that, we reach for ones outside of ourselves to help us try to feel back to normal or baseline. 

So then it became not really about 'resisting temptation' whenever I wanted to reach for a dart, a pack of biscuits, or do some online shopping, cos trying to just sit there and 'resist' the urge to... ya know, regulate my emotions kinda felt like it wasn't gonna work out. I would remind myself that I should probably find alternatives before turning to the ones I know I'm gonna regret later. 

So like if I feel buzzy restlessness, going for a run rather than grabbing a drink. If I'm heaps low mood, spending time in nature rather than online shopping. It's a slow and often tricky process cos when I'm like that it's like, NO I wanna feel better NOW! But... then I just end up feeling crappy later if I do the thing that I know I don't wanna be doing all the time. 

Just some stuff that's helped me 😊

[blue_wren]

Thanks Jynx!

Currently listening to 80's remixed bangers and dancing unhinged around the apartment... Have done the washing up while singing loudly to them also... I'm sure my neighbours are concerned hahah.. but it's a better alternative to a bottle of wine...

Definitely relate to the ADHD needing instant gratification.

Good on you for giving up the darts, that's such a tough one!!

[Appleblossom]

It's great you can let go and be in your body and sing @blue_wren ... Without the wine! Yay!