Lived Experience Forum

[Snowie]

@Bow here with you hon.

Just out the kettle on to make a cuppa

💕💕

[Eve7]

 For you @Bow 

[NatureLover]

@Bow  Living with SI sucks...you have my empathy and wishes... 💜

[Emelia8]

Hi @Bow , I was just making a cuppa and thought of you.  How are you doing today?  Would you like a cuppa too?

Maybe @Eve7  would like one as well?  I have just made a pot of tea and watching my Raiders play Eels.  Eve I love the pic you posted here yesterday.  Its gorgeous, and so fitting for this thread with the name of "Mosaic".  Clever you.

Its been a beautiful late autumn day here ... sunny, calm and bright.  But the days are getting noticeably shorter now, with winter only days away.  I guess we have to take these lovely days when we get them.  I have taken advantage of the sunshine and have spent quite a bit of time out on the deck soaking up the warmth.  Not sure how long its meant to last here, but it would be good if we got at least a few more days of it.  I know further south is meant to get a cold blast, including Melbourne.  Got you in my thoughts there @NatureLover 🌞.  I guess this is to be expected.  It will soon be snow season, and that will no doubt please our @Snowie ⛄❄⛷🏂 Do you have any ski trips planned as yet?  

Okay, back to my cuppa and the footy.  I just noticed that Bow was online and thought to invite for a cuppa.

Emelia 💕

[Bow]

Thanks for thinking of me @Emelia8  a cuppa sounds nice. I’ve not had the greatest of days in my head, it’s been pretty dark. But did musta the energy and put on my big girl pants to take daughter to a birthday party. Was a small party, family friends daughters party. It was long though and came home and I’m on my bike now. Ate party food and now need to make up for it. 

The days are getting shorter yes @Emelia8  and I too am taking advantage of the sunny days. I planted some alyssum seeds earlier in the week and they have sprouted already! But my begonias are hating me. Just can’t seem to keep them happy. 

[Emelia8]

@Bow   Ahhh well done on getting to the kids birthday party.  I'm sure your daughter enjoyed herself. I hope you don't stay on your bike too long, its almost like punishing yourself for eating. Having an ED must be torture on a daily basis.  I certainly cannot claim to know what it may be like. I have had a dietician speak to me several times when I was in hospital and again as an outpatient when doing day rehab.  All because I haven't been eating well, or enough, and am still losing weight. But for me its simply depression and not feeling hungry, or not feeling bothered enough to eat. So I don't. Nothing the same as what you are going through.

What I can say, is that I greatly respect and admire you for constantly making the effort to get on top of your ED.  And you have done, and you will again.  I have some nice banana's here, perfect ripeness; as well as some purple grapes, particularly yummy.  Wish I could share some with you as its something you may eat and which is good for you.  I try to keep some nice fruit handy, as when I cant be bothered to eat, I can at least grab a piece of fruit.  Nuts is another thing I try to keep stocked up on.  I like roasted mixed nuts.  Good for you and yummy too.  I can grab a handful and know I am getting good nourishment. Is there anything that you like and which you will allow yourself to eat?

Wow, your alyssum were super quick to sprout, they must be lovin' that sunshine. Maybe the begonias are getting too much sun?  I think most varieties prefer part shade or only filtered sun.  Maybe try a spot with less sun?

Emelia

[Eve7]

Thank you @Emelia8  a cuppa would be lovely. I am watching the footy here…close game.

[Snowie]

Good afternoon @Eve7 @Bow @Emelia8 

@Bow I am sure your daughter had a good time. Please go easy on yourself hon.

@Emelia8 have lots of ski trips booked in for the snow. Hopefully there will be enough snow to go.

@Eve7 Watching the footy too at the moment.

Have dinner in the oven so nice and easy tonight. Slept a lot of the day away.

[Bow]

Thank you @Emelia8  i am trying. But yes it is torturous and relentless, it is at times really hard to express the battle that goes on inside and how intense it gets, it often has me curled up under the blankets in tears. 
I’ve not really experienced the lack of appetite with depression, it’s usually been in the past the opposite for me. I hope you are eating enough to keep yourself well. 
My safe go to food is a banana up and go and if I can manage it, some toast. I’m really only eating once a day at the moment, and that is at dinner time. So eating at the party today was really challenging, but there were people watching, and my daughter bringing me food, so I felt the pressure to eat. I knew that I would come straight home and get on the bike and engage in other unhelpful ED behaviours. I’ve had an up and go for dinner. 

Yes I thought they were super quick to sprout to. Literally nothing one day and a couple of cms the next! My begonias are under my veranda, so no direct sunlight. I do wonder if it’s just been too damp for them. I’m a bit sad, when I discovered begonias I went and bought a heap of different ones and they are mostly dead, or at least dropped all their leaves. I should stick to my Lego plants, at least they don’t die!

[Bow]

Trips to the snow sound amazing @Snowie ! Not sure if I have told you but I organised a snow trip for a group of kids in foster care when I was still working. They had a blast. It was really special being able to provide that experience for them. A group of us actually got lost and had the snow patrol out looking for us- that was a bit scary!