Lived Experience Forum

[Eve7]

They are great finds @Appleblossom  I have a few swim caps stuffed away but pdoc won’t let me go swimming.

I’ve never dealt with my issues, just kept busy to hide them.

💙🧡💙

[Appleblossom]

Is that due to meds, he does not want you swimming?

Not sure how one "deals" with one's "issues". @Eve7 I have activey tried in my way.  Journalling, meditating, doing therapies, all the way through, from 19 ish, but only came to some important realisations recently in last few years.

Some of the keeping busy is a dealing with.  I dont see emotions as detached from the wholistic experience, circumstance and actions.  We often talk about them as separate.  There is often a gender bias in how we talk about emotions.  I am still learning a lot about it all.  I am still coming to conscious realisations.

[Eve7]

Good morning @Appleblossom 

I did something at the pool so I can’t go at present.

I’ve been out of the MH system for 20 years as I just didn’t want to hurt my family. I stopped taking meds (not recommended), told pdoc I wasn’t returning and put on my “happy face”. I’ve had no therapy in that time but there’s hardly been a day when I didn’t struggle with si so it’s not an approach that I recommend. I’m leaving out lots of detail but it All came crashing down a few months ago.

I eventually saw my GP when I was in a psychotic mess, she called an ambulance and I’ve been in hospital since.

i need to go now but I’ll chat later. Have a lovely day.

💙🧡💙

[Snowie]

@Eve7 I hope today is ok for you hun.

thinking of you lots

much love and hugs sweetheart 💜💜

[Eve7]

Thank you @Snowie 

I’m thinking of you skiing all day. Just enjoy yourself my ect buddy.

💙🧡💙

[Peri]

Dear @Eve7  and @Appleblossom ,

i have not not been around much just lately, I have been in a fluctuating sort of state. Sometimes I think I am doing ok and then the next day I feel that I can’t achieve anything. 

I had my first major depressive episode in my early twenties, but was not treated by a psych at that time but I had a great gp who helped me.  In my forties I had a major crash and burn and did see a psych for quite a while.  Then it hit again in my sixties and has been accompanied by anxiety.  So I get managing this over a long time.  I have some friends and family who know, I have never gone out of my way to hide it, but I don’t hand banners at the front door either.

 I do get support from this forum, even if it is just reading other people’s stories and knowing that the struggle with living is not mine alone.  

I think one of my main issues at the moment is that I have become very reclusive and I need to challenge that.  But I also don’t really want to. I have always been a bit of a loner and content without a huge circle of friends. 

I hope you both have a pleasant day, and also others who follow this thread.

peri

[Eve7]

Thank you for sharing that @Peri 

I had my first mi in my early twenties when I had post partum psychosis and with that I was unwell for about 9 years. I was hospitalised for months when my baby was 8 weeks old. It was a terrible time in my life. I will tell more later.

💙🧡💙

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @Eve7 

There is so much unsaid. Sorry about the pool. Post only when and if you think it will help.  Hope hospital helps.  I probably should have been hospitalised a lot, but never have.  Lots of people around me were more obvious in their struggles.  I have been the coper on the outside, but lots of visiting.

@Peri  Really good to hear from you.  Yes long term struggles take a large toll.  I am rethinking some of my approach to friends.  For a long time I put "getting social" front and centre and kept trying to reach out, but put too much into the wrong friendships. Being prosocial I did learn a bit tho. I am a loner too, in that I have had to rely on myself and suffered a lot of betrayal, so mainly left with, just myself.

Lovely to talk with women of experience.

Take Care

[Eve7]

Thank you @Appleblossom @Peri @eth I have to be careful what I say as I’ve kept so much hidden and we moved interstate. I just wanted to reinvent myself. It is really helpful to meet people here who are open, honest and supportive. 

This is so different to my Facebook page where I only used to show my “happy life”.

I’ve been with the social worker today as well as attending 2 groups.

Take care my dear friends

@Snowie 

[Snowie]

I only show my happy life on facebook too @Eve7 Then again I don't post much on there.

Glad to see you got to some groups today too.

Lots of love and hugs 💟💟