I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Yeah it’s a tourist town. You don’t go down the street on weekend as there is too many people. But tomorrow they shut the streets down around 10 for the stalls to set up on the roads. There will literally be thousands of people there. Not exaggerating! There is zero accommodation in the area. Including all the little towns around us @tyme. This is the tourist event of the year. In July we have a farm event that brings people in too. 

It was a lot and I haven’t processed it yet and can still see the words in my head. I need my psych! My world could fall around my head before she comes back. 

I don’t have much energy as I keep waking up unable to swallow with a sore throat or because my nose is running or because I’m coughing up a lung. I didn’t sleep well for nightshifts either. My GP wanted me to take the nights off but I have to save the last little bit of my sick leave. 

I might clean the house and do the ironing. That should be doable. 

What about you? 

[tyme]

Do you think smoking has anything to do with it @Captain24 ? The coughing I mean? I'm sorry you are having sleepless nights. Have you told your mum anything?

Sounds like you need a bit of company. Just for someone to give you a hug and tell you it'll be okay. Just to tell you that you will not be alone in all of this.

As anti-social as we want to be sometimes, social connection is important.

Would you consider braving it and maybe going out to a few stalls to have a look? I'm just concerned that you will be alone for too long at home.

Is the sore throat etc because you are coming down with a cold? (if so, then dont' go out lol!)

[Bow]

@Captain24  Maybe a little bit of reassurance from my own recent personal experience. I had a gynae appointment a couple of weeks ago, I waited over a year for the appointment too. But the gynae lady was lovely, did an internal, removed a polyp, quick and easy very little discomfort. I have a phone appointment in a few weeks to get the biopsy results. The feeding tube relates to how it attaches and that it has blood flow. 
totally get that it’s anxiety provoking. I’ve had ovarian cancer so anything relating to that is super stressful for me. But get your referral in so an appointment can be made. 

[tyme]

Awwww @Bow . Thanks for the post and the reassurance! So good to see you too.

[Captain24]

It’s just a cold @tyme. Smoking probably doesn’t help though. I haven’t really had one all winter, just the odd day where you think you might be getting one. So this one has smacked me big time and then being out in the cold at night for work just didn’t really help. 

Mum knows all about what’s going on. The words italics and everything. I’m hoping they ring me on Monday with an appointment date. Hopefully in town. Mum will look after the dogs if I have to go out of town. So that won’t really be a problem. 

Other than mum no one knows what’s going on. I actually don’t have anyone (other than you) that I feel comfortable talking to. Everyone has their own stuff going on. I’m a it poise to ring my best friend tomorrow but she will be to busy telling me about everything that’s wrong in her life. The same things on repeat for the last 2 years. 

I need it to stop running around in my head but it is only recent so I will get there but yes a hug and some love and care would be amazing right now. I need my awesome friend from hospital. 

The streets that they close aren’t very big. Think small country town! People are shoulder to shoulder and since there is wine they all get drunk and it’s just horrible. I don’t do crowds. 

I’ll have ny babies. I will go to dinner on Sunday night with my parents. Plus I do have coffee booked in with the girls from the support group on Monday. Plus a Pdoc appointment Monday and dietitian Tuesday. I’m not sure I want to tell my dietitian about my iron deficiency as she will tell me to eat better and that hasn’t been going very well recently. Falling into bad habits. 

[Captain24]

OMG @Bow. Thank you so much. You have just made a massive difference. The feeding tube is what was worrying me the most. My GP did sound concerned about it but he is being really thorough at the moment with everything. 

Im sorry that you had to go through that. The medical centre sent the referral over today. I won’t have to wait that long for an appointment just not sure what the wait list is like but possibly 2 months ish. 

Thank you so much for sharing. 

[tyme]

Oh, it's a wine festival. Fair enough... Shoulder to shoulder isn't the most appealing to me either. @Captain24 

I'm glad @Bow  shared. I don't know anything about this feeding tube thingy... Just sounds like a lot. No wonder you want to hear about the appt soonish... get it over and done with?

Would you consider msging your friend from the hospital? Maybe your friend needs an ear, just as much as you?

As for your OTHER friend... maybe not right now - unless you wanted a distraction and hear about her challenges.

I'm glad you've been open to your mum. I know it takes a lot, but I can also hear you need all the support you can get.

Have you heard from your bro and the former partner?

[Captain24]

Even driving through town this afternoon to get dad’s birthday present was hell! @tyme 

Yes it’s wine. If you drink wine and a variety of them you have probably had wine from here! 

@Bow sharing was awesome. It’s still concerning as my cousin has just been diagnosed with cancer from the same thing but I’m much more at ease! 

My friend from hospital is in Italy reconnecting with her cousins and is having an amazing time so there is no way I would tell her at the moment. Im waiting until she comes home. 

I really don’t want to ring her as I’m nowhere near in the right headspace for her and I’m supposed to ring my auntie but I don’t think I can deal with that either. 

Mums good with medical stuff. After my ultrasound I rang her to tell her but she had just pulled up at the drs surgery. I said to call me after but she wouldn’t wait I had to tell her before she went in. Medical she does care about. She helped me with vitamin d tablets and iron tablets today. 

I haven’t heard from my brother and as far as I know mum hasn’t either. We will be there in a couple of weeks anyway. We go on the 15th I think. 

[tyme]

Awwww. That's so sweet of your mum. I reckon my mum'd do that too. 

I know she can be annoying sometimes, but it's amazing how close your family is. And some times, I know people fight more because they are close lol. 

I hope your brother is okay. @Captain24 I wonder if any of it runs in males in your family? Sounds like it's hitting all the females? 

I take vitamin D and iron tabs too. The iron tabs can be strong. So I take them for a solid 2 months, get another blood test, then I stop once my iron levels are okay, and take them here and there as needed. As soon as I start getting headaches and dizziness, I take the iron and i find it helps.

I hope you feel better after the vitamin d and iron. I know a kid whose vit D is so low that his skin turns black. So he needs vit d injections.

[Captain24]

I took her shopping to get dad’s present. We got him a new phone so she was with me when I went to the chemist. @tyme 

Just last night I was looking at a dozer and it looked like it was moving but it wasn’t, no one was in it. The same thing happened when I pulled up at road works. I thought my car was going backwards. Plus a few other things. It then made me feel off. It was weird. 

His skin turning black is bad! Mine is just under normal but apparently it helps with MH. I might spend some time in the sun this weekend while ita a little bit warmer. It’s only suppose to be 26 but maybe I’ll cope. 

I can’t take the iron tablets until I get the bowel screening kit. When I do that I can start them. If nothing shows up in the screen he wants to do a colonoscopy! He doesn’t give up! 

That’s interesting that you know the signs. I’ve been getting headaches a lot recently. 

I think he has issues but would never do anything about it or even admit to it. Mum is seeing stuff now though. Apparently he is more adhd than I am! He has depression issues though. There is a lot of it in dad’s family but no one says anything.