I can’t cope

[Captain24]

It’s just overwhelming. @Ru-bee. I did wash the dishes but they are just in the drainer. Ive also packed the dishwasher so I guess that’s something. 

I only have 5 presents to wrap and I haven’t done that either. 

Im really feeling useless right now. 

I did so well for the last few days. Why have I lost it now. 

[Captain24]

Thank you @Ru-bee. 

I hope you have a great and enjoyable couple of days. Have a fantastic new year. 

Thanks for everything you have done. 

See you next year

[Ru-bee]

I hear ya @Captain24 I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed too and kicking myself for not doing things earlier or leaving myself enough time, but I'm going to try to practice what I preach and try to give myself some grace and know that if I don't get everything done then it's okay, the world will keep turning. 

You're not alone in your feelings, but I'm glad that you took some time to rest when you needed it.

Take good care 💜

[Captain24]

At least my kitchen is finally clean. It was an absolute disgrace. 

Im not sure I have it in me to finish. I just want to sit on the lounge and just disappear. 

Is all this hype even worth bothering about. So much work for one day. A day you have to pretend you’re happy. A day you have to show joy. A full day of masking so no one knows how deep and dark it is on the inside. 

Im ready to give in. 

[rav3n]

hey @Captain24 !! just popping by - gosh i hateee cleaning, my room right now is such a clutter... been putting off the cleaning but i feel like i should try start the new year's with a clean room at least. (fingers crossed i get it done in time). 

i'm sitting here with you as you tackle this kitchen!! you can update me on how its going - and don't forget to take it little by little - you don't have to get the whole thing done tonight. 

and whenever you're tired of wearing the happy mask in front of your family, we're here. you can come here and take off that mask and get that energy back. 

[Captain24]

I’m just sitting on the lounge @rav3n. I’m not even watching tv as it’s not turned on. I haven’t even had a shower for days. I stink and my hair is stuck together. 

My parents are going to expect me to go looking at Christmas lights tonight. I don’t think I can handle them arguing. Arguing about which way to go. Dad driving past something mum wants to see. Mum yelling at the other cars because they are in her way. But then I think Jett will love it. But Pix gets carsick. I can’t even get my dogs on the same page. 

It’s all too much. 

My room is ok. I don’t really have much in it and I did all my washing earlier. I remember though, a time when it was out of control and that was only before I moved into this place. I have so much more space. My clean clothes live in the ironing room. Sometimes ironed sometimes not. 

[rav3n]

@Captain24 sometimes i'd just spray some perfume and use baby wipes when i couldn't get myself to shower. are you a bath person or shower person? 

ahh yep i hear you, my parents are big arguers too. i can imagine what a headache it must be to deal with that. do you carry around headphones in the car? i just blast music on my headphone when i sense an argument brewing, or sometimes i even watch Netflix on my phone so i can distract myself with a tv show convo rather than my parents. do those things work for you?

holidays can be quite overwhelming with so much going on. you're allowed to take a break. glad you've got a lot of space in your room now. i never iron my clothes hehe is that bad? 

[Captain24]

I’ve done all I’m going to do. 

I don’t care anymore. 

If they don’t like it don’t come. 

I promised to throw things away. I didn’t do it. They are at arms length. 

Right now I hate me and hate everything. 

[Captain24]

I’m a shower person @rav3n. I’m trying to talk myself into getting in there. 

I don’t spend a lot of time in the car with my parents so that’s good.

They argue all the time. I’m just glad that I have my own space. But I do get phone calls about what the other did wrong. 

I iron almost everything. I won’t wear unironed clothes! 

[rav3n]

it's okay @Captain24 sometimes we make promises and set deadlines for getting things done but it just doesn't work out. i know you'll get to it eventually at your own pace. 

it's great that you're talking yourself into getting in the shower. every inch of movement and every self-talk counts.

having your own space away from them sounds nice. are they coming over for Christmas day?