I can’t cope

[AuntGlow]

What do you listen to or focus on whilst you're driving? And do you get lots of rest stops? 🤔 @Captain24 

Well, whatever good feelings you are experiencing, I encourage you to allow them in as much as you can. ☺️

How are your fur babies tonight? Giving you sass? 

[Captain24]

At work I get 2 half hour breaks over the day, other than that it’s just keep going. @AuntGlow I just listen to the am/fm radio. There is a good station that the stream so I find the music on there good and there is no talk back radio. 

Yeah.. I’m taking it while I can. I’m telling myself that I’m going to breeze through this weeks withdrawal. I have this week then reduce it again next week and the week after I’ll be off them!! I’m just going to smash it out and deal with the fall out so that it’s done. 

Pix is driving me nuts. She wants a treat and she is not having one. She would have had heaps at mums today! Jett is exhausted after running around with mums dog all day so he is sound asleep. 

[tyme]

LOL. I've been looking through all the posts looking for the Roof incident.. I'm glad there was NO roof incident!

However, I know that doesn't make the roo incident any less. You've often spoken about the fear of kangaroos when driving to and from work. I'm not sure there this sits in terms of support/therapy. I'm thinking:

1) trauma from a recent incident?

2) general fear of kangaroos when driving?

3) general emotional stressors?

Is it an 80km road you drive along?

I'm just thinking that whether you drive at 80 or 100 or 20... kangaroos will still appear. So I'm not sure where to go with this one.

And also, please let me know if you don't want to talk about it because I don't want to re-traumatise you if you're not ready. @Captain24 

[Captain24]

It’s 100 zone with trees all around so they just jump out in front of you @tyme 

I am concerned about Roo’s most of the time but this one has really rattled me. I’m not sure why. I think it was the speed I was going so I could overtake. I couldn’t brake because there was a car that far up my arse that I couldn't see the headlights. I have a lot of what ifs.. what if I waited, what if I let home go first, what if I wasn’t doing 115. 

Im not sure if it’s affected my emotional state or whether my emotional state is causing the fear. I do know that I ended up in a dark place that night and called in sick the next day. 

I am so all over the shop recently. I can be in a good place. I can be in a dark place.. I don’t know if it’s me. I don’t know if it’s the withdrawals. Nearly off them though. 2 weeks left

[tyme]

I hope you find a way to hold tight. It sounds like a bit of a waiting game in regards to these meds. 

I also have to say, that the roo incident was VERY recent. I know when I had a car accident, it took me a few weeks to get back on track @Captain24  Perhaps your body and mind needs some time and space to recover?

I hope work goes okay for you tomorrow. 

I'm clocking off now but will hopefully see you tomorrow.

[rav3n]

hey @Captain24 how are you going? are you on night shifts tonight?

[Captain24]

Hey @rav3n 

Ive been in 2 day shifts and im not allowed my phone. Ive got the next 2 nightshifts and then im off for 4 weeks

[Captain24]

Hopefully I get over it soon @tyme the anxiety driving to and from work is intense. 

How did your preso go? 

[tyme]

Heya @Captain24 !

I keep calling you 'Cap' in my brain when I'm typing to you.

The preso was okay. It was short, but I got done what was needed.

How'd you go today? Sorry, I'm a little slow today. My laptop is telling me I've got too many million tabs open and complete lost it.

[Captain24]

Lots of people call me Cap @tyme so you’re not on your own! 

At least you got it done and got in what you needed too. 

Damn technology! 

Today went okish. It was a long day. But on my drive home I had some very dark heavy thoughts wash over me. Really intense.