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Something’s not right

Eden1919
Senior Contributor

I am a terrible person.

I am a horrible person and I hate myself. I am a disgusting, ugly and repulsive person and I don't deserve anything good to happen to me and I ruin everything I touch. Even everyone on here is sick of me it is like I post something and everyone just pretends I don't exist or avoids it because they know too everyone knows how horrible I am and no one wants to talk to me... I understand I don't like talking to me either. I am sorry I ruin everything for everyone I am sorry I am a piece of trash I don't mean to be but I fail at everything and I will never be good enough for anyone I don't even deserve to be alive I am a complete waste of space taking up resources from people who actually deserve them people who mean something...... I am sorry I know no one will even read this but I just wanted to say I am sorry for being the awful creature that I am. 

8 REPLIES 8

Re: I am a terrible person.

Hi @Eden1919, you just posted a really interesting insightful post a few minutes ago and then this!  What happened?

Re: I am a terrible person.

@suzanne Sorry I will stop sharing my feelings then never mind obviously I can't say anything right I guess that just confirms I am right I am a looser piece of shit. 

Re: I am a terrible person.

It's was just a question @Eden1919, not meant as criticism.  It was just such a sharp change in mood I wondered if something had happened.

Re: I am a terrible person.

@suzanne Just forget it nothing matters anymore anyway there is no point and it wasn't a change of mood I felt just as crappy before. 

Re: I am a terrible person.

Hi @Eden1919. Sometimes I read posts and I don't know what to say so I don't reply. It's not that I think anything of the person who is posting as a person but more that it's hard to know how to reply or what to say that cpuld help.

I see you as someone who has some really hard things you go through. You're not a waste of space, or resources and you do mean something. I'm sorry to hear it doesn't feel like that at the moment.

I wanted to reply to this post because it doesn't feel nice to feel or be ignored, or to feel like you don't exist, or like you're a horrible person. I don't know if it would help but I'm happy to chat with you for a while if you'd like.
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: I am a terrible person.

My post I had written originally to you was against the guidelines so have edited...

 

I feel like that with some things, also battle an eating disorder too, I have often thought and said to others no one can help or save me from myself and all the things in my head. I hate myself too, there we go, led me to where my life’s at now.. in a lot of ways. When you are battling an eating disorder it’s the same stuff going over and over again and seems if you have had a lot of trauma and added trauma to it  it just grows into a bigger problem and every time someone says something that you may take the wrong way because of the insecurity with it -well that doesn’t help either... 

A psychologist helped a while ago at my lowest. I relapsed a couple of times after though, everyone thought I was ok but i was fighting it and still battle it with those thoughts to this day even if I look ok now...you sound like you are suffering badly. Resources are there if you want it. I don’t know a lot of you’re story but can definately hear you in most things you post  @Eden1919 Sounds like inside you are screaming at all those demons within you’re mind. 

Re: I am a terrible person.

@Former-Member@CheerBear@suzanne Thank you all for replying.... I don't remember a lot of yesterday or this last week for that matter I am sorry I don't know what is wrong with me anymore I keep doing stuff weird stuff that I can't seem to stop stuff that I wouldn't normally do messygirl I do also have an eating disorder which maybe is where a lot of those thoughts are coming from I don't know maybe they are just the truth. 

 

I am really scared I don't feel like me anymore and I have run out of options I can't be here anymore no where is safe. (I am not going to hurt myself at the moment btw) 

 

 

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: I am a terrible person.

Some thoughts might be but they are often clouded @Eden1919 or distorted especially with an eating disorder you already sound like you are punishing yourself too. There’s a voice within me that is always saying don’t hurt me! Also dealing with a lot of hate towards others and self hatred.

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