Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[154015]

Hello everyone and thanks for listening. My husband has severe masked depression which manifests in either having a really short temper or, more often than not, being simply emotionless, like he's not even there when he's talking. 

I spend all my mental energy trying to navigate his mood swings and at the end of the day just want to go to sleep. However he's told me that lack of intimacy is something that makes him feel worse, so I'm filled with anxiety that I have power to make him feel better but just can't make myself do it. I'd love to know if anyone else has had similar experiences and how you've navigated it. Thank you so much 

[tyme]

Hey @154015 ,

I'm hearing you. Thanks for sharing what's been happening. I hear how exhausting it can be to be constantly on the alert as you navigate the highs and lows of your husband's condition.

I hear that he has opened up to you to share that the lack of intimacy makes him feel worse. Have you had an opportunity to open up to him about how you are feeling in terms of your exhaustion and anxiety?

You deserve to be heard.

Does your husband have any supports to help him navigate some of his mental health challenges because I read that it is certainly impacting your relationship.

Please know you are not alone. While trying to care for and support a loved one, a carer's needs must be first met.

[154015]

Thabks @tyme. Yes I've tried to tell him in the past, it'll usually make him draw in on himself or we'll go round in circles. It seems we both can't tell each other how we're feeling without making the other one sad or defensive. Am considering talking to my Dr about it.

[tyme]

It's definitely worth speaking to your doctor about it @154015 . Communication is so important in any relationship. Would couples counselling or something similar help? That is, a safe place to share while also having a non-judgmental person there?

I hear you have tried to share your concerns with him. Yet remember your own mental health and wellbeing. 

[Christheart]

Oh darlin that sounds very difficult. Relationships are so difficult. Sending you love @154015