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03-07-2020 07:06 PM
03-07-2020 07:06 PM
How to survive walking on egg shells for the rest of my life
Hi I have a question. I have a serious decision to make. I have survived (just) 30years with a bipolar Mum who past not long ago. It was a very traumatic childhood and adulthood being her carer. The same time my mother past and I thought I was finally free from the trauma. My husband had a mental breakdown and had a serious parinoid pyschotic episode. Was off work for a year. Has been doing better since but had a few mild relapses. He hasn't been consistent with his medication. Which has made me very angry because it's the same stuff I went through as a child because Mum had no self awareness.
I want to be supportive but I don't know if my own mental health can cope with living wondering when the next episode will be. It's a learnt behaviour from a very young age being hyper vigilant for my own protection wondering when Mum would be manic again.
I don't want to live like this forever the anxiety I feel will crack me eventually. It's like PTSD I dont have to be in the traumatic situation but just the anxiety wondering is stressful. I'm just so broken hearted that just when I thought I was free MH came right back to me again and to my closest relationship. Maybe if it was a great marriage I would battle through it but it hasn't been the best over the 20years which makes it harder. But I have beautiful children that I don't want to hurt as well.
Feel like I don't have anything left to give, my Mums MH sucked the life out of me and my husbands severe psychotic episode just tipped me over. I don't want to live this life surving forever. Any help would be appreciated.
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04-07-2020 10:21 PM
04-07-2020 10:21 PM
Re: How to survive walking on egg shells for the rest of my life
thing sounds very tough for you atm, have you considered getting some support for yourself?
its important to care for yourself as well to be able to help others.
I would suggest having a chat with your gp about a mental health care plan or even Carers Australia as they offer free counselling as well.
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05-07-2020 08:47 AM
05-07-2020 08:47 AM
Re: How to survive walking on egg shells for the rest of my life
Thank you. Yes I have been seeing a psychologist of late. But I thought I would reach out to this forum because I thought who else to really understand than those who have lived or living through it. Appreciate you taking the time and care to respond.
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05-07-2020 11:43 PM
05-07-2020 11:43 PM
Re: How to survive walking on egg shells for the rest of my life
~ Kindest wishes, Climatechange.
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07-07-2020 07:54 AM
07-07-2020 07:54 AM
Re: How to survive walking on egg shells for the rest of my life
My heart breaks as I read your story. It's like reading mine! You have put into words exactly how I feel as well.
mom so sorry fo your painful road.
You are absolutely right it's time for us as well to repair and heal without the guilt. With you in understanding as well. Xx
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07-07-2020 07:57 AM
07-07-2020 07:57 AM