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Something’s not right

Roundnround
Casual Contributor

Here we go again

I was diagnosed with anxiety 5 years ago. Went on and off medication initially because I wanted to ‘tough it out’. I accepted the medication and therapy and have been off medication for 3 years. Just before Christmas my psychologist (who I have been working with from the start) went away and I was totally thrown by a huge sense of abandonment I’ve never felt before. I spiralled over Christmas and have been struggling with anxiety ever since. I also began fighting with and being horrible to my therapist every session. About 2 weeks ago I went back on medication and things have been better. The familiar weight on my mind disappeared quite quickly and I felt like I could breathe again. Unfortunately every evening it returns like clock work and here I am again with everyone else asleep and I’m awake trying to distract myself from the panic. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m so sick of coming back to anxiety when I thought at the end of last year that I had been ‘cured’ and I would never feel like this again. Sometimes I feel so hopeless and I hate myself for doing this again. I don’t really know what I’m asking. Does it ever really end?

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Here we go again

Hi Roundnround,

I like your name. It's sounds like the 80's song.

I'm anxious too that's why I'm on here at 11 and not in bed,. I'm going away and instead of being excited I feel dread. I am not anxious about flying or anything. I am just anxious about nothing. It gets so bad sometimes my whole body is shaking. You're right it is like panic. Usually when I'm on the meds it works but I ran out a few days to a week ago and it's taking some time to kick in. You said you were back on meds for 2 weeks? Can you watch TV or something and it goes away or do you still get it?

Re: Here we go again

Yes, anxiety can end. I used to get anxiety a lot in general, social anxiety and also due to abandonment issues. 

I guess being medicated for anxiety is a start, but there is also other ways in which you can cope with anxiety. I am not sure if your therapist has brought any of them up to you or if you are aware of them.

For me, I use a number of methods to cope.

1. Breathing techniques; this will calm the body and make it relax and focus on your breathing. You can use applications on your phone such as "smiling minds" which has FREE mediation type sessions.

2. Listening to music can be very calming.

3. Talking a walk can give you time to breathe and reflect.

4. Writing down your feelings. This method is another type of outlet. I find when something is making me anxious I write it down, and it helps.

Re: Here we go again

I


@Sweet_cheeks wrote:

Hi Roundnround,

I like your name. It's sounds like the 80's song.

I'm anxious too that's why I'm on here at 11 and not in bed,. I'm going away and instead of being excited I feel dread. I am not anxious about flying or anything. I am just anxious about nothing. It gets so bad sometimes my whole body is shaking. You're right it is like panic. Usually when I'm on the meds it works but I ran out a few days to a week ago and it's taking some time to kick in. You said you were back on meds for 2 weeks? Can you watch TV or something and it goes away or do you still get it?


Hey @Sweet_cheeks, I get the whole body shaking too. It’s awful isn’t it? Yeah it’s been almost 2 weeks. And I know usually it takes a month or so to work but this time it was almost instant relief.. probably the placebo effect but still, it sucks when it’s not working anymore. Yeah I usually end up watching tv until I don’t feel anxious anymore but that could be hours. I just want it to stop

Re: Here we go again

Hey @Bipolar how long did it take for you to work through your anxiety? 

 

I do try some of those things but it’s almost like they’re good to maintain but not enough to bring me back from the edge if that makes sense? Once I’m too far gone none of those things give me any relief

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