Lived Experience Forum

[Anastasia]

I'm sorry @saltandpepper 

I'm not at all surprised 😔💔

[saltandpepper]

@Anastasia Wish you were here

[saltandpepper]

You and your boys doing ok @Anastasia?

[Anastasia]

Yes sweetheart. We're ok, thank you for thinking of us 🙏

@saltandpepper 

[saltandpepper]

Fu*k me. This is just shit. This is all just shit. Even if i could talk to my psychologist what would i say? Ehat would be the point. So i can hear him tell me freezing up is a normal response . The fight flight freeze shit. I vould have stopped it. I could have done something. I could have stopped it. But i didnt. And my body is telling me it's because i enjoyed it. My body is a traitor. Physically enjoying something that mental tears you apart later. Ehats wrong with me. Why am i like this. How could i. Why would i. I hate myself. I hate so mych about myself. There's no hope for any kind of recovery for me. There's no coming back from this shit. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should sign off here. Not posting anything useful or helpful and keep breaking forum guidelines all the time. I'm alone with this. Always have been always will be. I dont know what im doing anymore

[saltandpepper]

Im sorry @Anastasia im always thinking of you guys. Love you and your boys 💙

[StuF]

@saltandpepper 

Hi, just checking in. I can't begin to imagine what you went through/are going through...

I keep writing and deleting stuff. This is so far outside my experience that I hesitate to say too much, else I might say the wrong thing.

Anyway, you're in my thoughts and heart today.

Did you do pancakes?

[Anastasia]

Don't sign off hunny because you feel you have to. Sign off for the day if you WANT to or NEED to. You're not alone @saltandpepper 

[Anastasia]

(((( @saltandpepper 🙏💙))))

[Anastasia]

Making pancakes for my boy. SI extreme for him so it was what I coaxed him out of bed with @saltandpepper @StuF 

🥞🥞🥞