Functioning with ADHD

[creative_writer]

Hi @AuntGlow. I hope you are doing well 💖.

I’ve had dinner, I feel a bit better. I probably should be eating more regular meals for my mental health, I think I might need to get some support to fix that up. SI is still there, but a bit less intense. Might not be realistic to get rid of the thoughts. It’s so exhausting.

Do you think I’ll ever get to the point I’ll be able to separate the trauma from myself. Still get lots of negative thoughts, I know thoughts aren’t always true. I do really hope to feel less damaged one day

[creative_writer]

How does one bounce back after using an unhelpful addictive coping method? It’s been consuming my mind today and I have been craving the whole day. How can one be at peace afterwards? I feel like there has been no peace for me now. I haven’t used this method for two days because I am no longer able to. I used to judge people when I was younger, and I didn’t realise how some people did it to help them survive

[AuntGlow]

I know how exhausting and relentless these kinds of thoughts can be, and I think you're doing SO well to manage them all. @creative_writer 

Yes, of course! It takes time, but I believe all people can work towards healing from their trauma. I am reading 'No Bad Parts' at the moment and I feel like you might resonate with it: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55384168-no-bad-parts

Internal Family Systems encourages you to work towards identifying different parts of yourself that make up the 'whole', and how they have come to be. For example, our feelings and more negative beliefs can become heightened when one part takes over, so if we can identify the part that wants to self-harm or cope in ways that may not be so helpful as seperate from our core self, we can start to see things more objectively. (And most importantly, really love and nurture this facet of ourselves for what it is: a part that is doing anything it can to protect us.) 💛

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow ohh that books sounds interesting. I know these urges come from a place of self protection, but it is still hard. Waiting for a week and a half isn’t a lot, but it feels like a lot. I’m not used to being heightened like this. Usually the PRN would settle it, but it isn’t working this time.

I have heard of internal family systems. I do like the concept, there are definitely different parts of me.

I’m finding it too hard right now. I don’t know if I should just go to bed, urges are too hard

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I think I’ll just go to bed

[AuntGlow]

Bed really does sound like the best idea right now @creative_writer. When my mind won't stop, I either talk to someone, shower, have a biiiig cry, or try and sleep... maybe pop on some trashy reality TV too haha. I really encourage you to be gentle with yourself and try to create a soothing environment - you deserve to feel safe. 💛

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I was very tired yesterday. Just not sure what to do with all the big emotions, I took PRN for a few days and got no relief so stopped taking it. I'll engage in some self-care today, and hope the violent thoughts settle. I can't get it to settle, I tried extra caffeine, because caffeine in moderation can help with anxiety and can make it a lot easier to function, but got no relief. Maybe I have developed a tolerance? I feel like I need something stronger

[creative_writer]

I’m getting closer and closer to the edge. How do I get through the next 10 days in one piece?

[Ru-bee]

Hey @creative_writer I know things have been so persistently difficult for you lately. It's great that you've been reaching out here and focusing on self-care. Have you been leaning on any other supports to help get you through this time as well?

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee I’m not sure who else to lean onto. I’ve tried helplines. I have a GP, but my pdoc handles my meds. I feel like I’m stuck with the waiting game. I prefer to avoid hospitalisation if I can