Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Anondepressed]

I'm sure there has been tons of people who have had this same problem; 

My GF doesn't care about my feelings anymore, and just thinks I'm a chronic complainer. That is NOT the case at all, and I can't help but pointing stuff out that is blantantally wrong. It's like she WANTS me to be the problem, (even if I'm not, horrible housemate is) and she won't LISTEN to me.

I believe this is partially why she don't wanna be around me, and I give her that space, even if drives me nuts, coz I don't wanna push her away further. Sadly, she HAS threatened she'd leave me, EVEN if I'm not the problem (housemate is, in actuality). We've been together nearly 2 years now, and I'm disappointed that she's stopped caring. 

I wish she'd be on my side a bit more, and take the time to UNDERSTAND my feelings. I think future counselling would probably force her to listen. 

For someone who has claimed that they've had mental health issues, they sure are blind to seeing it in their own partner. 

I want to make things work, but why should I try if she won't?

Can a third person's influence (on her) really make that much of a difference? I guess it can if she's too dumb to care. 

Could that also mean that she just wants EVERTHING? No one gets everything they want, it's about time she realised that. 

Any suggestions to make her realise that I'm getting more and more depressed coz she wants it all?

[tyme]

So sorry to hear this is what's happening @Anondepressed .

It must be hard not to know what the other half is thinking or doing.

Have you ever asked her what she thinks your future will look like? Or what she ideally wants it to look like?

[Anondepressed]

Yeah, it's hard especially as she don't really talk to me a whole lot. 

I've asked, and I believe it's quite short sighted, in a way.

She thinks our future will look like;

Kids. I've made it clear I don't EVER want that, but she keeps bringing it up from time to time. This invalidation makes me think she don't respect me. 

Her debts paid off. However, I don't think she's smart enough to stop making poor financial decisions. 

A place without housemate that's big enough for our current belongings,  the things we have in storage, and space for her to work on her cars.

I would LOVE to stop paying the entire $170 monthly bill for that as well. 

What I want is a little more complex;

Her to start respecting me again as my own person, like how she did when we first met. I believe it's the "now they've got you, they are no longer really interested" conundrum that plagues a lot of relationships, because she changed around the time I felt forced to move in with her (because she made it clear she'd dump me if I didn't move in) and horrible housemate. 

At least a one car garage that my car can be ENTIRELY protected from the weather, as I DO care about my car, and she obviously doesn't. I shouldn't think that's really a problem, as many places have, at very least, a two car garage.

I'd like her to actually clean and keep things clean. She uses the excuse "there's no room". That's not an excuse, she has too much stuff that she don't use that she won't get rid of. 

A dryer or a room that is reserved for drying. I hate going to the laundromat when things don't want to dry. 

We each have a room to ourselves, in addition to the room we sleep in. 

She gets rid of the whole 'I actually work, so you stay home and do ALL the housework.' No, that's not fair, and how dare she!? I swear, if she tries to do that again when we DO have our own place, I'm not gonna be happy.

I think that's exactly her mindset now, because ALL she does lately is sleep, Xbox, work and repeat. 

She used to take me with her to work, and yeah fair enough, it CAN be a bit tiring at times, but she can clock off whenever she wants. She CHOOSES to work herself too much for the sake of money, and then gets pissy about how it's NEVER enough. 

I NEVER know EXACTLY when she's gonna be home, and I get lonely and cold a lot, so I'd like a companion, a cuddly desexed cat to be specific. I've had one before, but I'd like one to be strictly indoors.