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Something’s not right

Hurtandalone
Contributor

Don't know what to do

it was my second last day yesterday at work and I decided I would leave as soon as the people who have been bullying me came on shift at 2 pm. The door bell rang for staff to open the front gate so the next staff on shift could drive their cars through. As I went to open the gate I didn't even get the gate all the way open when the "bully" sped through the drive way aggressively I had to jump out of the way so she wouldn't hit me.
I don't know what else to do but shut the gate behind her and walk straight to my car so I dednt have to deal with confrontation.
There was another staff member that witnessed the incident also.
I have written an email to my boss as I was lucky she didn't hit me which could have injured me.
I'm just having trouble as I'm not sure if I did the right thing by telling the boss about it but thought I should as I had to tell him I was going to leave 10 minutes early so I don't have to be anywhere near her. Just venting as I'm not sure if should have just said nothing and move on quietly.

8 REPLIES 8
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Don't know what to do

Definitely glad that you said something! nobody should be made to be unsafe! Also glad there was a witness, hopefully they'll be talked to about their behaviour...

Yay for being nearly finished! Hold your head high, well done for getting through this week!

LJ

Re: Don't know what to do

Hi @Hurtandalone

 

Wow - that is not okay! You shouldn't have to worry about your physical or mental health in the workplace.

It's great that you have told you boss and on top of that, you have a record of telling them.

 

Make sure you keep your own notes/diary of what takes place.

I'm not sure what industry you work in, but you have options to escalate this if you continue to feel unsafe - eg: the union.

Don't feel bad for telling your boss -

1) it's their job to keep you safe at work and to take action to ensure that

2) I wouldn't be surprised if this bully does this to other people too (now and/or in the future) so you could be helping other people who hare being bullied by this person too

Speaking up is incredibly brave and the right thing to do.

Did your boss respond?

 

Re: Don't know what to do

Sorry to hear about your siutation at work,i hate bullying.At least today is your last day there though.

Can you think of when this first started?

Ie:was it just "random" that they decided not to like you or was there an event that triggered it,for example something to do with the patients etc?

Re: Don't know what to do

She would not have hit you - for her own selfish reasons - as she would not want to go to jail over you or get into any serious trouble. And I am sure she knows how to drive without hitting people, having done so up until now. So I don't think you were in any serious danger.

However making you fearful is very aggressive behaviour on her part. They say that aggressive people continue to act aggressively towards others because it has worked for them in the past, as more often than not other people have always backed down in the face of it. This is awful for timid people to experience (as I guess you are) as you will never feel right about confronting her. The fact that you are actively avoiding confrontation also feeds into her power trip - angry people at their core wish to feel powerful and in control.

It is not necessary to match her aggression in order to get her to act differently towards you - but cowering and avoiding her all the time aren't going to work. In fact, telling the boss about her behaviour is a good step because you are putting your own needs ahead of her selfish ones. Hopefully it is enough. But if it isn't then there are other strategies you can use. You could possibly talk to a psychologist to find out what they are or read some books on the subject.

Re: Don't know what to do

Hey everyone ! Thank you for your support! Yay finally out of there. I feel happy that I did go to management to resolve the issues as it may seem cowardly to walk away from people but these people are not worth confronting as everything I say would be just twisted. If it wasn't a workplace incident I would have let her have it! Just glad I can finally move on. Thanks everyone for your support
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Don't know what to do

That is great news! I think you should be proud of yourself for handling it professionally and seeing your managment rather than talking to them and confronting them which probably would have only ended up with the whole situation in flames.

 

Good luck with your next job! When do you start?

LJ

Re: Don't know what to do

Thanks everyone.....
I started my new job yesterday I have been worrying a lot that I am going to hate it and hope that I fit in and can do a good job. I have always had these extreme feelings of anxiety when starting a new job. I have come along way and fear going back to the way I used to be. About 15 years ago all i was confident enough to do was to study. I used to start a new job because I would panic and not be able to concentrate and walk out of the job in tears.
I still have memories of being that person and I fear going back to that each time I start a new job. Logically I know how silly it is but its it but another part of me really fears going back and not forward

Re: Don't know what to do

Change is difficult and we really dont know what will happen in new situation.  Each person we meet is new "territory" and it is extra work to discover a fit.

 

Good luck

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