Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Birdie25
New Contributor

Anxiety and anger

I am not coping ok atm. I am someone with anxiety and insecurities and alot of anger ever since i was 20. Ive had a lot of disappointment in my life growing up and neglet. 4years ago i met who i see as the love of my life. Just from spending one night with him i decided to pack up my things and move cities for him. Even if it meant leaving my family to a place where i knew noone and had noone just to be with him so i did. Ofcourse it wasnt how i had imagined it to be. 6months on and he still didnt know what he wanted. And i was strung along waiting for him to want me not knowing he was pursuing other woman. Deep down i knew i shouldve let go but i didnt want to so i stayed and put my heart through that pain not knowing the damage it had created to my self esteem even more making me feel worthless i felt like i had to compete to have his heart when a girl should never feel that way she should just feel wanted and loved and not having to fight for it. Eventually i gave him the choice and told him either u want this or im moving back home. And he chose to pursue me. We have been together since and he has fallen inlove with me but now i cannot shake or let go of how he made me feel from the start and how he treated me. Even though he has done nothing but try to earn my love and trust back i cannot let go of the past. I am now 8weeks pregnant with his baby and this pregnancy has been nothing but anger and resentment for me because i feel as though im trapped. I know he wants a life with me everything but i have this fear of getting hurt again and now more then ever with this child.  Why was i not worth it to you from the start? Why did u make me feel like i had to compete for your love? Why did u make me feel worthless and even more insecure about myself?. We fight all the time about the same shit and i feel as though im losing my mind. This unborn baby doesnt deserve to go through any stress and this pregnancy should be nothing but a happy pregnancy but i dont know how to calm my mind and not worry and stress and let go of all that has hurt me out of fear. Im lost and still angry and still upset 

1 REPLY 1

Re: Anxiety and anger

Hi @Birdie25 and welcome to the forum.

 
Really sorry to hear that things have been and are tough for you. It can be really hard to move on from pain of any kind, and relationships can become very strained when past issues come up in the present. 
 
Feeling trapped is a horrible feeling, as is feeling like your preganancy should be happy but it is not. Last night PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia) were special guests on a discussion here where it was mentioned that expectations and reality can be very different. There can be a lot of things to work through and changes that happen when you're pregnant and when you have a new baby. If you have a look through that thread you'll find a few resources that might be helpful. 
 
It's great to see you here. There are a lot of people here on the forum who live with anxiety and anger issues as well as parents who have been through tough times, and many people who have worked through challenges of different kinds in relationships. You might also like to introduce yourself here. It can be a good way to 'meet' a few people.
 
I hope you find it helpful to be here. 
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance