Something’s not right
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16-09-2018 01:35 AM
16-09-2018 01:35 AM
Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
I know people have this image that suicidal people are depressed and that's the reason why they suicide, but for me it's just sheer furious self-hate. I'm not depressed, I just hate me, enough that I want to suicide. Hell, I don't even bother self-harming anymore cause if you're going to be dead anyway, why bother with the pain. No, I'm not going to suicide tonight. Just pissed off with the world which says I am not allowed to suicide. Pissed off with my therapist who insists on my hanging on. I'm fat, that's all that matters to me. I'm a lazy, fat, stupid, pos and I don't want to live feeling like this anymore. I give up, no one's listening, if they did, they would be helping me euthanaze myself. Sitting with me so I don't die alone.
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17-09-2018 08:55 PM
17-09-2018 08:55 PM
Re: Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
Although it's not entirely the same, you're not alone in this experience.
I hope you get a break from the anger and hurting, even if it's just for long enough to see that there is another part of life that might have something good in it.
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17-09-2018 09:58 PM
17-09-2018 09:58 PM
Re: Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
Hey @Lemonjuice and shout-out to @TheVorticon
I hear you; been there...
I'm wondering why you chose to write on here about your thoughts. Do you want someone to talk with or maybe just yell the words?
I started using forums to say what I needed to say to someone else; to be heard, acknowledged and validated. I got exactly that and 3 yrs down the track, I'm still writing.
Excessive anger can be a form of depression unfortunately. It's just expressing things differently, less socially acceptable mind you, but extremely relevant all the same.
With the fat thing; I hear you. I'm there too. If you want to yell at someone, I'm here for you ok. Just sayin'...
Take care;
Hope
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18-09-2018 04:14 PM
18-09-2018 04:14 PM
Re: Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
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18-09-2018 04:17 PM
18-09-2018 04:17 PM
Re: Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
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18-09-2018 06:47 PM
18-09-2018 06:47 PM
Re: Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
@Lemonjuice- anger can be a big part of depression. Depression is likened to fear. Same with anxiety. Anger is 100% fear. It's normal to feel anger - but it's when that anger becomes self destructive that it's a major problem. Something to talk over with your psychiatrist or psychologist.
I was struggling with anger up until about a month ago. Self anger and anger directed at every person, organisation and comments made on the news.
This wasn't like me. I'd been telling my psychiatrist for months that I was highly irritable and would snap for no good reason. But it wasn't until I was in hospital (suicide attempt ) that he could see what I had been saying. He immediately reduced my anti depressants saying they were at toxic levels and then also out me on a mood stabiliser. The anger went. The irritation went. Even the depression went.
So let them know what's happening for you .
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19-09-2018 01:00 PM
19-09-2018 01:00 PM
Re: Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
That's great to hear @Lemonjuice!
@utopia has provided some good advice. Think I might take a page from her book actually.
Hope
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19-09-2018 01:35 PM
19-09-2018 01:35 PM
Re: Anger as a reason to suicide...triggering.
Good luck @Hope4me