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Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Wanderer .... good to see you.

I have a night-screen option on my iPad.

TAB
Senior Contributor

Re: Am Not Coping

Sorry to butt in @ utopia @Faith-and-Hope .. ‘but’ .. I saw something recently re adrenaline and stress etc and effects on health Apparently you can be on adrenaline without really knowing it and resulting things re poor sleep/weight gain . Sugar helps adrenaline as well who knew

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Re: Am Not Coping

Disenfranchised grief makes a lot of sense @Faith-and-Hope. Your husband isn't the same man he was. Your home life isn't the same. Everything changed dramatically and you had no say in it. So yes, there must be a lot of grief. But how do you grieve when your husband is still there? That's a tough one.
I read yesterday that sometimes the mind causes oain in the body - to protect us from very painful thoughts /memories. It's meant to be a protective system. But it can get stuck in that mode. Maybe that's why I'm not aware of anxiety normally
Although I've been aware of it the last few days. But am finding it an almost impossible task to do the things that will help. Like breathing exercises, meditation, telling the thoughts to go away. I'm feeling stuck.
And I feel like these new things my psychologist spoke about, are just eroding more of me. I worry what will be left of the real me, after another episode or two or another diagnosis. It feels like I'm losing me.

Re: Am Not Coping

Morning everyone ☺

@Faith-and-Hope I caught your mention of disenfranchised grief and wanted to reply as it was a term I came across pretty recently and have spent lots of time (probably too much time) pondering since. I think there's so much in it for many of us who struggle with loss that it is not properly understood or even seen by others. Big hugs.

I think it can also relate to things like losing yourself too @utopia. I believe there is the potential for growth and gain with MI, but there's big loss that comes with it also, which deserves to be acknowledged and heard. Sorry to hear about your pain and the challenges you're facing.

Hope everyone had an OK/decent night and the morning starts off well. ❤ to all

Re: Am Not Coping

Morning @CheerBear @Wanderer @TAB @utopia ......

I am not familiar with the night screen you mentioned @Wanderer, but I will look it up.

@TAB, it feels like adrenaline is involved.  I do know that high levels of long term stress can affect the adrenals, so that might be what is happening ..... the adrenal system sending out its own seemingly-random warning signals.

@utopia .... I have felt that “losing myself” in the vortexes we have encountered even prior to this one ..... what I did in response was to start investing more in my personal interests and self-development .... doing whatever I could to fortify the things in my life that supported my sense of self, and seeking out positive aspects of whatever I encountered.  The “at least” statements can seem a bit like a consolation prize, but I used this “at least” phrase to help me find those positives ..... 

I have been left waiting, and I don’t know how long for  ..... at least I can grab a take-away coffee to sit with .....

Nobody is talking to me at this function ..... at least the music is good, so I am going to pretend I have earbuds in and I am sitting in a coffee shop, and just enjoy the music in the moment.  If someone bothers to hold more conversation than “nice to see you again”, that will be a bonus.

This is self-empathy and it goes with the territory of being a sensitive person.  You might have done this naturally before your trauma event ..... and I encourage you to rediscover it,  My Mum used to call it “being your own best friend”.  It helps to place worth on who you are, rediscover who you are.

I hope this helps.

 

Thank you so much for your understanding re disenfranchised grief @CheerBear @utopia ..... ❤️❤️

TAB
Senior Contributor

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Faith-and-Hope I watched something about the ‘40yr low fat experiment ‘ a while back, well how lots of people have become obese due to sugar and avoiding fat.
Apparently sugar can help release adrenaline creating a ‘stress loop’ don’t eat. Have sugar hit. Repeat . Sounds like me haha

Re: Am Not Coping

Goodmorning @Faith-and-Hope @utopia @CheerBear @Wanderer @TAB and all who pass through here Heart This is a very interesting discussion you are all having Smiley Happy

Re: Am Not Coping

Morning @Zoe7 ..... 💐🦋💕

It is, isn’t it ?

And yes @TAB ..... low-fat diets are going to show up problematic in some ways in the future I think ..... I have also heard that brain cells contain a high level of fat and require it for repair and rejouvenation ......

The traditionally healthiest diets in the world have moderate fat levels but from natural, and often plant-based sources ..... such as avocado, coconut and olives. I think it’s more about portion sizes (which relates to satiation which fat supplies, as does protein and whole grains) and healthy food / exercise / sleep / relationships / relaxation and stress management balances ...... and rather than stressing too much about that, listen to your body ..... eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, cry when you are in pain, walk ..... too simplistic I know, but it’s the starting point.
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