Something’s not right
26-02-2020 01:45 PM - edited 26-02-2020 01:48 PM
18 year old transgender son disengaged from life
We have an 18 year old son, who was born a girl and came out as transgender 3 years ago. Mum and dad were fine and we did agree that the only option was to support him. He then spent the rest of school being referred to as he and we have even helped him choose a new name, which he has legally changed now. No other procedures or changes have occurred yet.
Over these 3 years, he has become increasingly isolated and, for want of a better word, vacant - with little real opinions on anything. Socially he has no friends and leaving school hasn't helped with that. He has tried a few after school courses but battled severe anxiety when trying to do assignments. He had a part time job but decided to quit (mostly due to being nervous about telling the boss he was transgender). We had one of his few friends live with us for a year (as his parents didn't want him at home) - he is also transgender but much further on the journey in terms of procedures. He has since moved out.
At this stage, his daily routine revolves around staying in bed, on his phone with little prospect of motivation.
I have no doubt that the anxiety is extremely high for him as he has trouble talking to people or dealing with anything slightly taxing, but I can see he has some potential difficulties in reading people and understanding social interactions.
We have suggested a variety of help options, volunteer groups, etc but he finds the whole concept difficult.
At this stage, we are just not sure of the best option for helping him - he won't do anything for himself and we have no real insight into his transgender journey and what he wants to do. I have considered booking him in for an autism test (as he displays some potential symptons), or look for a psychologist who can focus on the anxiety and identity issues or more generic councelling.
He was previously diagnosed with trans-dysphoria, anxiety and depression and had a 3 month or so program of help via HeadSpace which was useful but didn't seem to have any lasting impact.
Just some advice on the most effective place to start would be great as we are currently getting nowhere.
27-02-2020 02:09 PM
Re: 18 year old transgender son disengaged from life
Welcome to the forums.
As carers we do want our loved ones to do the things that will help themselves and we can feel ever so helpless when they are not able to do this. Gently encouraging them to seek the help and support they need can be frustrating.
I am wondering if you and yours would find some of the resources listed by state (under resources in menu) to be helpful.