Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Mel1]

Hi everyone,<br>I have posted once before as my brother was unwell and was admitted to hospital about two months ago. <br>This is the second time he has been admitted and to date he is still not back to the person he was. <br>I want to know how does family members get by day to day?<br>He lives with my parents, he is 28. <br>He doesn't communicate with them. <br>Does not eat or drink in the family home. <br>My parents have caught glimpse of a hunting weapon in his room and previously the end of an axe. <br>My parents do not know if he is taking mediation. <br>They are unable to find out if he is getting the proper medical attention due to him being the age he is. (Privacy reasons)<br>I do not live in the same state now and I'm concerned for everyone's safety. I have my parents and another brother that live with my unwell brother. <br>I feel like the system is waiting for him to halm himself or my family. <br>We have sent letters to his previous treating doctor at the advice of my mums gp. <br>With no response.<br>I'm sorry for the long post but does anyone have advice or any suggestions for us as we are at a loss of what to do.<br>It seems there is help out there only if the unwell person wants it. <br>The only other option is if they halm themselves or others.<br>I'd greatly appreciate advice or if anyone can share their experiences as I really am at a loss of what to do. <br>Thanks so much for reading my post. <br>Mel<br>

[Mel1]

Sorry guys I'm not sure why it's posted the words that don't make sense.
I tried to delete and re write.
Please disregard those words.
Thanks again Mel

[CherryBomb]

Hi Mel,

Thanks for your post. It can be very stressful when someone is unwell.

On one hand, it's a postive thing that your brother is in a supportive environment. On the hand, it sounds very stressful for your parents to feel unsafe.

When someone is unwell, or is withdrawing it can be helpful to try and establish and maintain open lines of communication. The symptoms of schizophrenia can be different from person to person, so there are different reasons for certain behaviours/beleifs sometimes people can be fearful thinking that people are out to get them, or sometimes they can believe that people are watching them. Now I'm not saying that this is true for your brother, but what I'm trying to say is that talking to your brother expressing concerns about particular behaviours in a non-confrontational, worried manner can be a start. Having a conversation with him to discuss what's going on for him is a way in to understand what's going on for him, and to encourage him to seek help.

Here's some information about what you and your family can do to support your brother. You might also find this thread useful. @Linmerc @soul @Shadow are among a few in that discussion to talk about their experiences of living or caring for someone experiencing psychosis. Also @BillyF cares for a sister with schizophrenia, you can read about their story here. I wonder if some of these members can provide some advice/support?

[Linmerc]

Hi Mel1

I read your post and I feel very sorry for your entire family.

Have you contacted the hospital where he was previously admitted? Maybe they can be updated on his situation and offer advice. I understand because of his age it is very limiting what you can do for him, but your parents are his carer so maybe the local Mental Care Team can help or the local police.

It is a very difficult situation if he refuses help and is not taking medication. Keep the lines of communication open. Are your parents able to ask him to remove the weapons from the house as they should set boundaries and it is their house.

Do not give up hope that your brother won't get better. Stay strong for the sake of your parents.

[Mel1]

Thanks for your responses @CherryBomb and @Linmerc.
My mum emailed his treating doctor from when he was admitted.
She hasn't had any response as of yet.
She at the same time is scared of his reaction if he discovers she has done so.
I think a big part of the problem is he does not speak to them. At all.
If my mum simply asks if he would like a meal he tells her to go away but not in that nice of a way.
He doesn't respond to my calls or txt messages now either.
So I guess trying to have a conversation around the weapons will be tough.
I can't imagine how many other families out there are going through the same experience.
Thanks again for your comments and I will suggest a phone call to the hospital and go from there.

[suzanne]

Hi Mel, you're in a tough situation being so far away from the family you love and worry about.  I just wanted to say that it can be helpful to focus on the part of this that you CAN control.  Which is keeping on providing regular contact and support for your parents and other brother.  For them, having someone to talk to outside of the house is so important.  So please don't under-estimate your value in helping them deal with what's happening. 

The part that you can't control - your brother's health and his willingness to seek help - is obviously very hard to deal with.  And most of us in this situation would probably keep running through 'worst case scenarios'.  But in order to keep supporting your family you need to stay well yourself.  And so bringing your focus back to the good you are doing, the part you can control, will help you do that.  

Easier said than done but worth a try maybe? 

[Appleblossom]

Sadly there are many others going though this sort of thing. We did.

Our family stuggled with long contact with mental health system.  Though it and the people who work in it are imperfect, its the best we have got and they have helped me survive.

Cant really offer help but to let you know I am thinking of you at this time.Keep searching and trying, but also remember self care.

[Mosaic]

Hi all

@Mel1 @Linmerc @Appleblossom 

Just wanted to jump in and let you all know, being that is is Schizophrenia Awareness Week, we will be hosting a Topic Tuesday event in the Carers Forum discussing the myths and misconceptions of schizophrenia. It is scheduled for this evening Tuesday 24 May between 7pm – 9pm AEST.

 If anyone is interested, feel free to come along and join in the chatter! Hope to see you all there 🙂