Mental Health - Education, Support and Prevention
18-04-2017 11:57 PM
18-04-2017 11:57 PM
21-04-2017 03:32 PM
21-04-2017 03:32 PM
HI @Former-Member
Am replying to you in this thread as the other forum members here have sons with Sz and is perhaps a spot where you might feel at home with carers having similar feelings to you.
I think in many ways we all feel at the bottom of the heap, as carers we are so used to putting others needs well before our own. I know it took me a long time to realise that I needed to look after myself and of course there were times of crisis when my needs did need to take a back seat.
For me, education has been the key, both to understanding the conditions that have been put forward as a potential diagnosis for my husband as well as how best I can manage our relationship in spite of his mental health. Self care features in that mix as the usual relationship rules need to be adjusted as what are deemed normal emotions are out the window; "normal" parent-son relationships can be similarly compromised.
Learning how not to engage with a patients delusions is one of the things that might have been touched on in the "loss of insight" talks by Xavier Amador that are posted on the "whats new" thread
The weight we carry is heavy at times and can seem very lonely, but you are not alone. We would not be here if we ourselves did not at some stage need mutual support and understanding.
Take care my friend,
Darcy
21-04-2017 04:38 PM
21-04-2017 04:38 PM
hello @Former-Member
Thank you for redirecting me back to a safe spot
I was feeling quite lost and alone
I rang helpline and he was helpful, he said he had an understanding of paranoid schizophrenia
I explained that all of my supports are not available this week and the calls and texts last night
would you believe. after i hung up and resigned myself to living in the now my son rang back
he is trying to get something on line and was blocked so i clearly told him that i would not use my card details
also that i was not happy with the way he spoke to me yesterday
he threw stuff back at me with the icy tone and i steered away only letting him know not to use the language
it must be all consuming - constantly feeling that people are after him
22-04-2017 10:03 AM
22-04-2017 10:03 AM
22-04-2017 11:01 AM
22-04-2017 11:01 AM
hello @Grasshopper3 @Suki1
Yes I write on here one day that i have told him that i wont take the abuse that he has hung up on me etc
then lo and behold he is ringing me back with his urgent voice,"now, right now!" icy tone.
sometimes he listens to my setting the boundaries, other times he doesnt
I have noticed a difference in our calls now though bearing in mind also he allows me to have his mobile no now, huge
there are gaps in between the paranoia, moments of silence where I feel he is needing me as his mum. I try to talk about his new life what he has achieved in living on his own. I too have told him how proud I am of him. I told him yesterday not to spend so much time thinking about all of these bad people, government CIA etc. I said that he is aware, he has put things in place therefore he is safe. he is doing the right thing in looking after himself. this was accepted. there is never a thank you just a silence where he is digesting the information and i imagine the delusion is distracted momentarily. so i do experience windows of my real son at times now.
i cannot begin to tell you how this feels. Others would think that I have lost the plot.
I know that i have to accept every little precious moment and value that. a reminder over and over again my son is still there.
I think that you handled your situation well Matosh. His response to you showed you that he listened.
I smiled when i saw the comment about checking out the hairdresser.
I was told about coconut water yesterday and of course the one that i am drinking is rubbish. I told him that it said no concentrate. yes yes he said but it is only 99.9% and has preservative (0.01%) plus he did point out that it was made by coca cola which i had not noticed. reading the finer than fine print.
these are signs that we are so important to them. this is their way of letting us know that they still love us. i did manage to tell him how much i love him and on one more pleasant phone call was told back that he loves me. priceless.
please keep sharing your trials and tribulations on here
our journals of our loved ones
22-04-2017 01:00 PM - edited 22-04-2017 02:00 PM
22-04-2017 01:00 PM - edited 22-04-2017 02:00 PM
Hi @Grasshopper3,
Just a comment about meds. My son's not on depot injection. He takes tablets every day and there's an opportunity to adjust doses (after getting approval from the psychs) if there's an escalation in symptoms. For travel, you could ask about extra meds that your son could take if things get out of hand. In our case that's an anxiety medication... and only for last resort use.
I've taken my son for two short (1 week trips), Qld and Tas. It went OK but a little difficult to manage around his sleeping schedule and various routines, so it wasn't possible to do too much.
23-04-2017 11:04 AM
23-04-2017 11:04 AM
23-04-2017 11:28 AM
23-04-2017 11:28 AM
23-04-2017 09:10 PM
23-04-2017 09:10 PM
24-04-2017 12:05 AM
24-04-2017 12:05 AM
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