Our stories
It was my pleasure 
Thank you so much for your beautiful words and for listening to my story
In my experience, finding the resources that we need can be an incredibly disheartening experience, as there are so few community based organisations that provide specialised care and support in relation to eating disorders.
Wow! That’s fantastic that you’ve been in touch with Eating Disorders Queensland, as from memory, they’re one of the few community based organisations that specialise in supporting people who have a lived experience of eating disorders 
I also wondered if you’re familiar with a service called Queensland Eating Disorder Service. Although, I haven’t accessed this particular service myself, from my understanding, they are part of Queensland Health and as such, they provide assessment and treatment for people who are living with an eating disorder.
I wasn’t too sure if this is something that might be of interest to you and so I’ve provided the link to their website just in case you would like to explore this further:
As I read your story, I felt so terribly sad when you shared that ‘you don’t feel that you can claim to have an eating disorder’
As such, I just ever so gently wondered if there was anything in particular that has contributed to you feeling this way?
In my experience, although I understood what an ‘eating disorder not otherwise specified’ meant from a theoretical / clinical perspective, I still wrestled with the connotations associated with the terminology ‘not otherwise specified.’ As such, I found myself frantically trawling through information in the hope that I would be able to find something that would reassure me that I was living with a ‘legitimate’ eating disorder.
However, much to my distress, there was very little if anything written about eating disorders not otherwise specified. For example, they weren’t mentioned on social media, or in the magazine articles and documentaries that claimed to shine a light on eating disorders.
Therefore, instead of finding the evidence that I needed to reassure myself that I was also living with an eating disorder, I found the complete opposite. As such, these omissions communicated (correctly or incorrectly) that society didn’t recognise that the eating disorder that I was living with was something that was significant or legitimate.
Furthermore, because I wasn’t living with an eating disorder that (for the most part) people recognise (i.e. anorexia nervosa and / or bulimia nervosa) I found that my diagnosis was often viewed with a degree of scepticism and suspicion.
As such, the combination of these experiences resulted in me feeling as though I was a fraud and that I was masquerading as a person who was living with an eating disorder. Although many years have passed, I can still remember how incredibly lonely and invisible I felt in my experiences.
I also found it difficult to reach out to specialised services as I not only felt dishonest telling people that I was living with an eating disorder, but I also felt guilty that I was taking valuable resources away from people who were living with ‘legitimate’ eating disorders.
Although there were times when I felt slightly more comfortable disclosing that I was living with an eating disorder, there were also times when I found this incredibly difficult and once again, I found myself wrestling with the validity of my diagnosis.
In an attempt to challenge some of my thoughts and feelings, I created an analogy, whereby I drew parallels between some of the issues that I was wrestling with and colours. For example, although the colour pink (I chose this particular colour because it’s my favourite 
) is a well known colour, some shades of pink such as blush, fuchsia and watermelon, may be less well known or recognised. However, despite this, they still all belong to the same colour spectrum. Similarly, there are many different types of eating disorders and although each one is unique and some are better recognised than others, they still all fall under the collective heading of eating disorders.
As such, I just ever so gently wanted to reassure you that eating disorders (including eating disorders not otherwise specified) are extremely serious and complicated mental health issues that need understanding, care and support
I’m so deeply sorry to hear about the end of your relationship and I can’t even begin to imagine what’s happening for you at this time
In my experience, being in contact with someone that I’d shared a relationship with was incredibly painful and I did everything in my power to avoid coming into contact with them.
However, despite my best efforts, there were times when this wasn’t possible and as such I found myself in their company. I found these particular moments especially challenging, as not only were they completely out of my control, but these interactions triggered memories in relation to other difficult times in my life.
Therefore, not only was I desperately trying to survive the end of my relationship, but now, I was also desperately trying to manage the unexpected avalanche of painful memories and emotions.
As I listened to this part of your story, I can really appreciate why you’re finding these interactions so difficult and as such, I just ever so gently wondered how you’re taking care of yourself during these moments?
It’s always so lovely to be able to talk with you and as such, I just wanted to reassure you that you’re always welcome to reach out to me whenever you need to
Please know that I’m thinking of you at such a difficult time and sending you some very gentle hugs
Take care of yourself,
ShiningStar
Hi @Bow
It's so lovely to hear from you
I'm so very sorry to hear that you’re currently in hospital
Please know that I’m thinking of you and sending you some very gentle hugs at such a difficult time
Take care,
ShiningStar
It was my pleasure and it’s so lovely to hear from you
I’m so deeply sorry to hear how your mum responded to you when you shared your experiences of living with an eating disorder and I can really hear your distress and the profound impact that this has had upon you.
Reaching out for support and sharing our experiences takes an enormous amount of courage. As such, it can be incredibly painful when people pass judgement and draw conclusions about the severity of the eating disorders that we’re living with by comparing our experiences to those of other peoples
In my experience, it can also be incredibly distressing when people believe that the challenges associated with the eating disorders that we’re living with can be easily remedied through the use of willpower and self-control.
Thank you so much for sharing the reason that you feel that you’re not living with a ‘legitimate’ eating disorder. After reading this part of your story, I can really appreciate how you have come to believe this.
As I read this part of your story, I thought about some of my own experiences and I can still remember how dismissive and intolerant people were towards me because the eating disorder that I was living with didn’t align with what they believed an eating disorder ‘should’ look like.
It was during this time that I quickly realised that I didn’t have anyone who I could turn to for support and I became even further isolated and worn down from tyring to carry such an incredibly heavy emotional load by myself.
I’m so sorry to hear that your childhood was traumatic and that you’re living with CPTSD and as such, I ever so gently wondered if this was the first time that someone has shared this diagnosis with you?
I’m so sorry to hear about your experience with your Psychiatrist and I can really appreciate why her explanation has left you feeling so disappointed. In my experience, it can feel incredibly confusing and unsettling when our treating specialists offer explanations that contradict the information that we’ve shared with them and as such, I can really appreciate your concerns in relation to how this may impact the treatment that you receive.
Wow! Waiting another two months for an appointment to see your Psychiatrist is an incredibly long time to wait and I really hope that you’ll be able to see her before this
With that in mind, I just wondered if Eating Disorders Queensland have been in touch with you to offer you some additional support?
The relationship that you have with your boyfriend sounds extremely complicated and I can’t even begin to imagine the sheer and utter exhaustion associated with having to fight so incredibly hard to keep your distance from him
I felt really curious when you shared that the relationship that you have with your boyfriend has been identified as a form of addiction. As such, I just ever so gently wondered if this has been something that you’ve wrestled with in other parts of your life?
Please know that I’m here whenever you feel ready and able to reach back
In the meantime, please know that I’m thinking about you and sending you some very gentle and caring hugs
Take care of yourself,
ShiningStar
It was my pleasure - it’s so lovely to hear from you
Finding ourselves in a place where some of our behaviours are out of our control and our bodies change in ways that distress and overwhelm us can be absolutely devastating.
As I read this part of your story, I could really hear how you’re doing everything within your power to understand the eating disorder that you’re living with and as such, I really hope that the diagnostic sleep study will be able to provide some insights in relation to what’s happening for you
Thank you so much for sharing this resource with me. I’m not familiar with the book titled ‘Exaholics’ but from what you described, it sounds as though the information really resonated with you and that it’s provided some great insights into your relationship
Oh wow! I’m so pleased to hear that you have an intake appointment with Eating Disorder Queensland in two weeks. That sounds really encouraging and I hope that they’ll be able to offer you some additional support
I would love to hear how you’re travelling with everything
In the meantime, please know that I’m thinking of you and sending you some very gentle and caring hugs
Take care of yourself,
ShiningStar
