Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[greenpea]

@Sheila  Hi Sheila it was a long drawn out painful death where he went back to to his real life girlfriend and my daughter was left with nothing. Luckily she never had the money to go over and he never came out here. On a bright note it has helped her in the long run she is older and wiser now. If you can get your son into social groups like the ones through Aspect and other community groups that would be a way to get his mind of the one overseas. Wishing you luck it is a painfull thing to experience for our children. greenpea

[Sheila]

Thanks @greenpea .

I really appreciate talking to you. 

Trouble is, I don't think my son would go to anything the way he is at the moment.

But, the good thing is, he has a job which he likes and is good at. He is pretty high functioning. 

Trying to encourage him to make more of an effort to make friends of his colleagues. 

[greenpea]

@Sheila It is so hard isn't it. You want them to be happy and find a kind and caring partner and yet it is so hard for them. It is great that your son has a job that he is out with 'normal' people that gives him so many opportunities to make friends and through friends meet up with other people (girls) that he might like to ask out. My daughter is a computer geek and sits at home all day on the computer. Mind you in her defense she has chronic depression due to a range of problems our family have suffered through so I am in no way criticising her.she is in survival mode and has been for some time.

My son2 who is very autistic but moderate with other problems likes this girl who he would like to ask out at a disco that he goes to. I really hope when he gets the courage to talk to her that she is kind to him ..... he has bought her chocolates which are in the fridge ready to give to her. I hope she smiles and takes them. I have this dread that she will laugh at him and turn her back on him etc ..... growing up is so hard. I am so glad I am an adult 🙂

[Ali11]

That's a tough spot to be in @Sheila, but if your son's only been shown CBT as the one skill they've tried to utilise, it could be worth seeing if there are MH services in the area that have a broader range of treatment options. Really hope he can see what you're seeing and step out of that relationship situation, it doesn't sound like it'll be helping. Glad he enjoys his work though, that definitely should help with socialising and building connections locally. Hope you've had a good day 

[Sheila]

Hey @greenpea ,

Its such a difficult thing isn't it!?

Computer games are quite addictive it seems. And give them a sense of belonging in an anonymous way. 

My lad is a big gamer too. 

And I feel so much for your boy in his attempts for romance. 

Parenting is the  hardest job ever!!! 

Especially when there are mental challenges. 

Im still doing a day at a time at the moment. 

[greenpea]

@Sheila  I quite often think back to when daughter and son got their diagnosis (when they were small children) of how much I didn't know back then of how it would affect their future. It never ends unlike for parents of 'normal' children where they can let them go and start being 'free' themselves. With autistic and aspie kidults it appears to be an ongoing thing where the parent is constantly worried and involved trying to help the kidults adjust to a somewhat hostile environment that is the non autistic world they are meant to fit into. I don't know what the answer is but I do worry once I am gone what will happen then to both my children .... who will look after them then.

[Sheila]

@greenpea, I hear you