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Boo
Casual Contributor

New and scared

My 23 year old son was diagnosed with schizophrenia yesterday. Everything I read is so negative. He has all the symptoms and factors for a poor outcome. However he gets up everyday, goes to his job as an apprentice Cheff I wonder if there is any chance of this continuing. I feel like he has been given a life sentance Is there anyway he will do ok ? I look into his eyes and see fear. I want to help him so much.
19 REPLIES 19

Re: New and scared

Welcome to saneforums, Boo.

I can only imagine how worried you are feeling right now after learning about your son's diagnosis. It sounds like you're feeling quite anxious about what the future may hold for you son. 

I often find that schizophrenia is a mental illness that many people are particularly fearful of. This is partly because of media portrayals that make it seem impossible to treat. The reality is that just like any other illness, it can be managed. Many people who have diagnosis of schizophrenia can lead a functional life. It might take some time to adjust, in terms of learning about triggers, and getting medication right, but this does not mean it's a death sentence.

I've included a video here that has people with schizophrenia and their carers talking about how they manage the symptoms and cope. You might also find reading this factsheet useful. There's also another thread with another member who is going through a similar experience to yourself that you might like to read up on. 

It's great that you have come on here to find information and support. Often learning about your loved one's illness can ease some of the anxiety. Also, ensure to take some time to care for yourself. Take some time to connect with others and share what you're going through. Carers often focus on looking after their loved one but forget about themselves. 

Can I ask, does your son live you? 

Anyone else have any advice for Boo?

CB

 

Re: New and scared

Thank you Yes he does live with us. We are both health professionals. Maybe our little knowledge and exposure to the illness ( both work in intensive care ) is not such a good thing

Thank you for the helpful links.

He is reasonably accepting and insightful. He seems better for just talking about his symptoms.

Boo

Re: New and scared

DEar Boo,,

 

I love your name. 

 

Boo the famous Boo Radley from that wonderful novel Harper Lee Wrote.

 

Its going to be fine, this forum is do good and supportive and the problem with being in the community...at least where I live is that you have to go out and ask but there is a wealth of information out there.

 

 Someone who knows what they are talking about..... you can write I am wrong....

but as far as I have worked out is that,

'Early psychosis,' means that when a person 23 years old has his first burst of psychosis, like my son does, they are quick and flowing and likely to change.

 

By staying calm and strong, keeping him in his job, it is more than likey that he can get to a very good place, learn how to manage his own life. 

Take control of his own life. 

If you can see my messages on my 23 year old son .......just below you........... maybe you can relate with what I have been going through. When my son, same age as yours........... was 8 years old, I could see that there was a problem with his moods and focus..........

 

but just to let you know...I wasnt being a good Mum to him, my now 23 year old son. My youngest son was very ill. My youngest son got better and then, a couple of years later, my oldest son got ill.

 

Im in a good place about it now.......most of the time...

 

Thanks for reading.

Please keep in touch.

 

 

Re: New and scared

Hi Boo,
My daughter who is also 23 was diagnosed with schizoprenia about 6 months . She went on medication after a protracted refusals . The first 2 prescriptions were not right and It was traumatic for her and us.
We finally decided to admit her into a private hospital who were able to put her in the right drugs.
She has improved tremendously and we are starting to get our daughter back. She is not ready to get back to uni or do any casual work but she is starting to build new friends.
Keep posting , I am new to the forum too

Re: New and scared

@ Boo, you are most welcome! I can see how working in intensive care could lead you to think of worse case scenarios - It'd be rare to see people who do lead healthy lives with MI in your work environment.

What I find helpful to minimise worry about the future is to focus on what's going on right now, rather than 'futurising' imagined scenarios. After all, the worse case scenario has not happened, it's only imagined. So, focus on what you know to be certain, which at the moment, for you, sounds like your son has just gotten a diagnosis, you are feeling worried, he still has a job etc - this is what is certain so work with that. Work on what you can, which is now. There's a great book about this, 'The Power of Now'  if you're interested in learning more about it too. 

@ Brian, Welcome to saneforums! Glad to hear that your daughter is doing better. Can I ask what it was like for you when you first learned of your daughter's diagnosis? And what did you do to manage stress? 

Re: New and scared

It was so hard to accept one of your child has mental illness . The stress level in a scale of 1 to 10 , I would say my wife and I were on at least 9.
To manage , my wife and I went for remedial massage or shiatsu massage at least once a week . It is loosen up your stressed up muscles and gives us a bit more accept the accept more challenges
Change your routine also help. We went to a different church for a few months to change our surroundings and that was helpful
On the early part of my daughter diagnosis, phone call s from friends seems to be last thing you want, you just want to be by yourself and perhaps we need some time to grief

Re: New and scared

Dear Brian,

HI, how are you? I'm justanother47yr. Fortunately for me, though I never thought my 22 yr old son was going to get as ill as he got, I was actively doing advocacy volunteer work in Mental Health in the state I live in. So, I had a wealth of support when I flew over there....to spend a few days visiting him in hospital. It really helped me weave through and understand the psychiatric ward; the other volunteer workers.

When I got there, to the Psych ward, I kept on asking the Doctors ' what shall I do? SHould I be here? And I Was able to check in back home with the people I did volunteer work with. I will be going back to my volunteer work in the next three or four weeks. But had a break this year.

THe last time I flew over to where he lives, I was pretty confused again. Shortly after, I logged into this forum support.

After many years of overdoing My life...I have at last understood the words, Take care of myself. Sounds like you and your wife know already,

The most important thing for me is how I keep my life normal. It isn't, my partner is fifo ( fly in fly out ) which suits me fine on the surface but difficult for his sleeping patterns and well being. I am a consumer which means...'someone who has accessed mental health services in the past. ' I like spending time alone but I also like keeping a check on my neighbours, taking them to doctor appointments etc if they need help.

I also look for work after a few years break.... In welfare. I am very passionate on change in the community.

I get silver chain in once per week for keeping my art and craft going and my home clean.
See a social worker to check in about my two children, 23years old and 20, just to verbalise how to keep me as first

I find to keep quiet is easy but doesn't suit me. I'm not in a relationship with my sons father though and it would be wonderful to have both of you to give support to each other.

Re: New and scared

Hi @Boo  & @Brian 

 

I stumbled across this thread tonight & wondered how you are both going?

A couple of months have passed, and since you both posted a lot of members have posted about similar situations.

 

I hope you're both well.

 

NikNik

Re: New and scared

Hello Boo,  Sincere sympathy and a message of hope. Sometime in the future I hope that you look back on this time with a sense of relief that you have a reason for many worries and that you realize that honesty and openness will be useful companions.  I have been in your situation and can tell you that there have been ups and downs but we have our son back from confusion and can relate well with him even though still with symptoms.  You will need help and stay in touch with whoever helps . It does take time for medication to adjust so be patient .  Regards,  Singer.

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