Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Myla]

This is a great chart! I have always wondered about my cravings... surely my body is chasing lacking minerals.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Myla 👋

[Myla]

Thankyou @Former-Member 

Im so glad I stumbled upon this amazing page while listening to a podcast. 

Time to tell the world about this page.

Im currently in hospital recovering after a major depressive episode and attempted suicide. this page is definitely helping with recovery. Hearing from both sides (the afffected and the carers) has been invaluable.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Myla and welcome to the forums ..... 

I have found it both amazing and humbling to learn from both sides of the forum.  It’s a special place.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Myla

I have learned after Mr Darcy's attempt that recovery from an acute event can take time, a lot of time,  it is important not to try and hurry things that cannot be hurried.  Be ever so gentle with yourself. 

Darcy

[outlander]

@Former-Member

[Shaz51]

Hello @Tryingtostaystr, @Myla, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @outlander

[Former-Member]

I am very much someone who believes that we can have a happy and fulfilled life in spite of my husband's mental illness.

Adapting to life after his crisis, serious attempt and diagnosis has been very difficult for Mr Darcy.   He still struggles with many things.

One thing I read was the importance of passing on hope, not discounting his feelings but reminding him things go in cycles and the current phase will pass.

Maintaining simple positive actions is also important. No matter how he is feeling, each morning I ensure my first interaction with him is a hug, a single kiss or a smattering of kisses. Same at night, when he is often anxious, I will not let him get away without a goodnight kiss.  

I try to ensure that there is laughter in our home, looking at the funny side of things, making light of molehills that could otherwise turn into mountains. 

These are things I have learned, some have not come easily, but life is better since putting them into practice.

[Determined]

Thank you @Former-Member for these thoughts, very encouraging at the moment. And timely. 

I know that there are times out of self preservation that I withdraw which fuels my darlings feelings of rejection. The fact that me withdrawing is in response to her rejection (or my perception of) is irrelevant. 

[Former-Member]

Committed relationships are intentional and I read recently  about "finding the balance of having healthy differentiation within our connectedness"

Pre-attempt Mr Darcy & I always had 'healthy differentiation'  we each had independent interests that we did without each other as well as having things we enjoyed doing together. 

Post attempt this has changed. In his crisis, due to illness,  injury and medication, Mr Darcy became a lot more dependant on me and at one stage I dropped everything to care for him.

My own fears as well as ongoing medical issues and uncertainty in relation to Mr Darcy's health have contributed to the feelings I have and reluctance to return to activities I once enjoyed on my own. We have been doing together things.

I am starting to feel ready to branch out on my own a bit more and resume some solo pursuits.