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Destiny47
Casual Contributor

My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Hello, this is my first post. Lately my husband has been suicidal, he can be very aggressive and has even started self harming with anything he finds around him. We’ve been married just over a year and he is going to uni and working full time so he’s under a lot of stress. I’ve tried to convince him to see a doctor, or psychologist but he refuses. I even suggested he take a break from uni and have been helping him put out resumes but it really doesn’t help. After he started self harming at night, I told one of our close friends and it helps to go out with them, but only for a little while. Living with him can be like walking on eggshells because I have no idea what is going to set him off. He gets really aggressive to the point where he’s punching things and yelling at me. It’s been a few months of ups and downs and I’m not sure what to do.

13 REPLIES 13

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Hi @Destiny47,

There's some information in the "Get Help" section of the forum;

"However, there are times when the person affected might not agree there is any risk, or might not be willing to reach out for help. When this occurs you can contact the local Crisis Assessment and Treatment Team (CATT) through the closest major public hospital. In some parts of Australia they are called Psychiatric Emergency Teams (PET)."

Link to the page is here.

I've had positive experience with the CATT team a few years ago (no recent experience though). 

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Hi @Destiny47,

I am really sorry to hear that this is happening in your life right now, that sounds so incredibly difficult to be managing. I hope you continue to get support from the forums and find them helpful, I know a lot of members have experience supporting someone who does not want to get help. Here is a moderated discussion on the forums that discusses that if you would like to have a bit of a read. 

Your husband's behaviour sounds really concerning and @patientpatient's thoughts around calling mental health crisis services sound really appropriate. That must be so distressing for both you and your husband to be going through.

I'm also thinking a bit about what you describe about your husband punching things and yelling at you, that sounds pretty scary and intimidating. Mental health issues can certainly increase the stress in a person or relationship, but it doesn't excuse behaviour that is intimidating. I would really encourage you to call 1800 RESPECT, they are a great 24/7 national helpline who support people who are dealing with behaviours in a relationship that might be scary or intimidating. 

 

I hope you find the forums a supportive and helpful place at the moment, as what you are going through sounds so difficult. I hope to see you on here more. 

Take care,

Tortoiseshell 

 

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

@Destiny47 and welcome to the forum.

I unfortunately dont have any answers but wanted to let you know you are not alone.

I support my wife (19 years) who has been through periods like this... it is definatly not easy.

It is good that you are able to get out with a friend but it can also be beneficial to seek  professional help also. I did not until a total crisis. It was not easy but I wish I had seen someone  much earlier. The most important thing is if at first you dont succeed try and try again. The first person I saw was a twat so I gave up and did not seek help again for a long time after.   Here to listen.

You will find the forum most helpful and supportive. 

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

@Destiny47 

Just wanted to check in and say hi,

Trust all is as well as it can be for you and hubby. 

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Hey thanks everyone for being so caring and supportive, so far I’m still going through a bit of a rough patch. He still refuses help but we’ve been able to talk about it a little and one of the things that he’ll to calm him down is being in public, so we’ll go out a lot or go and see my parents or go for walks around the lake, which helps. We have a flights booked to see his family over Christmas and then his brother is moving down to live with us almost straight after so I’m hoping that helps a little. But I’m just doing so much reading up on what I have to do in case of an emergency and trying to listen to him and support him. I just hope things turn around soon and he’ll come with me to see someone although I’m not super hopeful. I’m also looking into restarting counselling which hopefully helps too. Thanks guys!

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Feeling for you @Destiny47. I'm going through a similar thing with my 20 year old daughter. She is very aggressive and even walking on eggshells doesn't work any more. Even when I get her to see someone, she won't go on medication. She tells me she will and then doesn't.  It's hard and more bad days than good. I don't even like to be around her without other people, as she behaves better generally in public. I don't have any advise, if I did, I'd be doing it lol. Just knowing other people are having the same struggles makes me feel not so alone, this is a fantastic place for support which is unconditional and non judgemental. 

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Hello @Destiny47, sending you tender hugs

my mr shaz has refused help , he thinks he is ok and he can do it by himself by taking meds

remember we are here for you @Destiny47, you are not alone my friend

checking in to see how you are today xx

Hello @Janiee @Determined, @patientpatient

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Its amazing how common so many of these behaviours are, unfortunately. It's hard, but if you need to vent, rant or even forget about it for a little while, this is the place to be. So much love and understanding in here. @Destiny47 @Shaz51 @Determined

Re: My husband is suicidal and refuses treatment

Thanks for checking in, doing alright at the moment because we’re staying with his family. He has had a bit more of a level head and at nights we’ve been able to talk about things we couldn’t talk about before. He still won’t get help but he is really into his fitness goals and is trying to lose more weight and gain more muscle so he’s looking into stress reducing techniques so he can lose weight more easily. It’s a start. And he’s brother is moving down to Melbourne and will be living with us for a while and they get along well. It’ll be good having someone else living with us.

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