Hi @Frido - What a hard time, wanting to enjoy and be present with your child while reliving past events and new memories coming up. I can imagine it is very destabilising.
Have you got some support? A psychologist or counsellor who migh be able to talk through some of the things that are arising and ways of dealing with them effecively so you can reconnect to the present to be with your child?
I am a long way down the track with childhood memories and recently spent a very couple of intense weeks thrown into a situation where I was having to deal with the person who abused me as a child - I managed to 'shelve' flashbacks/ freezing and hysteria arising over and over by imagining as they came up I pressed the *STOP/OFF button.
The technique I use was provided for me by a doctor I saw to try to stop smoking. I never did stop smoking, but it was worth the visits to have THIS life-saving, sanity saving tool.
Obsessive thought (or PTSD replay/memories)
Imagine the incident or OCD scenerio is playing out on an old B&W TV with video controls.
Watch it playing on screen, really watch it from the observer part of yourself.
Pick up the remote control (in your minds eye) and start to take control of the 'video' playing in your mind.
Fast forward it, rewind it, watch it again, keep playing it then press 'pause"
When you have control of the imagery and 'video'.
Press OFF and watch that screen blink to black.
WHen you have practiced this alot - you no longer need to do all the 'watching" you just notice that the obsessive thought is happening or the PTSD replay is on - and you can just mentally press the OFF switch.
I still get obsessive if I am running rough, feeling unwell physically, or very stressed about something, but I have these "imaginary" thought substitutes and tools ready to pull out and overlay or turn to OFF the old obsessive thought.
I originally described this technique here:
