Lived Experience Forum

[CherryBomb]

Well said, JubileeJohnson. 

[CherryBomb]

I love the way you phrase things, Z. 

Do you find writing therapeautic? I also wonder if you find therapy a source of inspiration? I only mention this because in my own experience, I find turning inwards, and self reflection to help my creative processes.

CB 

[Zinoviev]

Thanks CB, and everyone else too.

I do find writing to be great therapy, even though it's not autobiographical. But turning inwards is also potentially unhelpful. I don't have a lot of friends, but I need the ones I do have.

Also, while I've not been working, I have been kind of lacking in human contact during the day. Not bored, mind you. Plenty of househusbanding to do. Although I don't mind my own company, there is a limit.

A friend of mine said recently that one needs at least 4 conversations a day to maintain good mental health. (And not just the 'Beer, please. Thank you.' variety.) Not sure where 4 comes from but the principle works, I think.

I've been a lot more active on Facebook than I was before. Not all my Facebook friends know my work situation (or my mental health situation for that matter). I suppose I use Facebook to remind people that I'm still alive.

[CherryBomb]

Heya Z,

I can see how turning inwards can be isolating. I don't mind being a recluse, and I am naturally quite introverted. Though working and studying from home, can make me feel quite removed. Having social contact is so important. 

That magical number 4 is something I've not heard of before. The other day I was told that on average we can cognitively only manage 150 close relationships. So I guess, if we devide 150 by 4....

I really enjoy the way you write. What genre is your novel? Can I ask if you have any favourite authors that inspire your writing style?

Looking forward to hearing from you,

CB

[Zinoviev]

Hi CB,

I've heard about 150 before too. The optimal community size.

Re my fiction: I try not to use labels. If I had to describe it, it's about existential philosophy and personal identity, s3x, love and relationships.

Influences: hard for me to say. I think I'm too close to it. Though I can tell you who I enjoy reading: Don De Lillo, Richard Ford, James Salter, A.L. Kennedy, David Mitchell, Paul Auster and Siri Hustvedt. Recently, I've been reading lots of Haruki Murakami's older stuff. Haven't read the new one yet.

Z

[JubileeJohnson]

Hello CherryBomb and Zinoviev

If either of you are interested in this 150 number and relationships and/or community look up:

“The Dunbar Number as a Limit to Group Sizes.”

Apparently, there are a number of types of communities and optimal sizes for each.

I think ‘conversations’ come in different shapes and sizes too.

4 a day? With who? About what? For how long? This notion seems a bit vague.

Any advice on where I might find something a bit more solid on that?

[Zinoviev]

Agree about 4 being kind of vague. Will get more info from my friend when she's back from o/s in a few weeks. She's not the type to make up stuff like that.

[Maude]

I have heard about the four conversations as well.
I understood it is four conversations with anyone from the person on the bus stop, the postal worker, a shop keeper, neighbour, friend or whoever.

[CherryBomb]

Hi everyone,

@ Maude, thanks for the info. Any ideas on if it is only face-to-face conversations? Or can it also include other forms of conversations?

I once use to worry about conversations online, but over the past few years, I've come to feel like I can communicate just as well online as I can offline. Obviously, both online and offline conversations have their postives or negatives. But I like online, in particular, because of the time can I have to think through a response.

I'm interested in hearing other people's thoughts/research about the qualities of different types of conversations. Anyone got any thoughts or insights?

[chemonro]

How many arguments do you need in order to say mentally healthy?

Four a day. 

Rubish! No you don't!

Yes you do.

No you don't!

Yes you do!

You do not!

Yes you do!

You've not arguing, you're just contradicting me!

I am not....