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Re: Living with Psychosis

Hi Hope32,
Thank you for your personal insight into your life, it is so similar to my sons, who has Paranoid Schizophrenia. He has trouble communicating and would not come on this forum either. It is refreshing to read about someone who has such a good insight into their mental health.

Re: Living with Psychosis

Hi Hope32,

I know exactly what it's like to be so consumed about psychosis. I spend a great part of my day looking up research papers on the net & all I end up doing is confusing myself. One paper may say the chance of relapse is minimal another says it will occur but when who knows etc. Drives me nuts thinking will I have a relapse? If so, when? How serious?

I had my first psychotic episode a few months back & it was the most frightening thing I could have imagined. What was going on inside my head was truly scary & I keep thinking will this happen again? Will my life ever return to 'normal' where I'm not thinking about this all day, every day? I feel ashamed when I go out (don't go out much these days) that people can see I'm not functioning (it's all in my head but I can't get rid of the feeling).

Hope32, I'm thinking of you & truly hope today will be a good day for you. 

 

Re: Living with Psychosis

Hi there,

 

Im only 21 and have managed to land myself in a drug induced psychosis and I also suffer with anxiety and depression but mostly anxiety. Im lucky enough to be pretty well functioning even when the mind is spiraling but do have to excuse myself sometimes, go sit on a toilet and breathe etc.. What has helped me the most is honestly having friends that I can be truely open with about ALL of my thoughts. Even when im paranoid or suspitious of someone or a situation, I have friends who I can actually tell these things to and who are always able to validate my thoughts or atleast relate to it. Like they might say "yeah no it was strange how they said that, I thought that too its not just you".. Since findng friends who dont pass judgement no matter what is on my mind my life actually changed.. Other than that Meditation helps over anything else I have tried, even though it can be nearly impossible to shut off the voices, practising being able to "stand back" and observe the thoughts youre having rather than being swept up in all of them is such an important thing. I think we think that we are our thoughts when we are so much more then that.. Meditation also made me realise that we choose how we react to things. Not all parts of the psychosis and voices actually scare me, I am actually thankful for how aware of everything I am now, I am thankful I am not blind to so much that others don't see, Im thankful for a range of different perspectives I have.. It is soo important to not hate any part of what is going on inside you.. If you saw the version of you which is the voice that tries to bring you down constantly because it is insecure and sad standing infront of you you wouldnt push it to the side, you would pick it up and give it a big hug and you have to do that with all parts of yourself in order to work through them and build a loving relationship with all parts of yourself whether they are 'good' or 'bad'.. Its not about one thing that solves the problem but many small personal goals and strategies that help you remain mindful and on the lighter side of things whenever you can 🙂 for me anyway.. 

Re: Living with Psychosis

Hi Hope,
there is some interesting work being done on the link between psychosis and hormones by:

https://research.monash.edu/en/persons/jayashri-kulkarni/publications/

I got late onset psychosis. There is only one psychiatrist in Australia working in this field to my knowledge. No-one else seems to know about it. I contacted her directly and found it helpful. I've found the more I learn about it the better.
Kind regards,

Re: Living with Psychosis

Hi Hope32,
I got late onset psychosis. I've found the information on psychosis and hormones to be helpful.
There is only one psychiatrist in Australia working in this field to my knowledge. No-one else seems to know about it.

Here is a link to some literature:
https://research.monash.edu/en/persons/jayashri-kulkarni/publications/
Best wishes

Re: Living with Psychosis

Read through some of the research provided in the link... interesting.

Re: Living with Psychosis

@former-member

 

hi there!!

 

im in my early 20's and had been diagnosed with psychosis (mixed in with paranoia) , anxiety and depression and borderline personality. i had been diagnosed when i was 14 so ive lived with it for a while now. 

 

i hope i dont traumatise you but i also want to share my experience with psychosis in case its something that would bring you comfort because for me when i got recomended to seek out these forums it made a world of difference as i found someone i could relate to. it also helped me come clean and say to myself "wow, becuase there are other people who experience these symptoms just like me.. i feel as if the voices i have arent in control and aren't "real" as i once thought they were".

 

so for me i find that if i were stressed out from uni, not sleeping well or stressed out in general the impact that the voices have on me is detrimental and it stops me from functioning at my fullest capacity. it's really hard to notice these patterns and as you grow with your psychosis you'll be able to notice what triggers your voices, what agitates you in terms of how your voices makes you react and what makes it harder for you to cope throughout your day becuase of these voices. so taking some space to realise your 'early warning signs' also helps and actively stepping back and making sure you know that : "okay, im panicking a little now. what is causing this reaction in me? and how should i show myself some self care to be able to recover from what is going on for me in the moment."

 

my phsychosis changed throughout the years but when i first started off i was manic.. screaming at everyone..unaware of what i was saying.. i showed signs of aggression..i wasnt even my 'normal self'. it was like someone had flicked a switch and caused me to run around the place with an entirely different personality. i can recall thinking i was a celebrity and thinking that my family were evil and trying to poison me through bating me with food. luckily though i still was eating and hadn't stopped eating the food they made for me. 

 

i can recall running away from home one night thinking that i was going to get picked up by a scouting agency and then the police found me in a club at night hiding in a toilet with my concerned mother hanging close to them. that was the start of my first hospitalisation and then the story goes on ahaha and as i needed more hospitalistions for changing my medications the experience i had in hospital wasnt as bad since i made friends. 

 

today im dealing with an entirely different set of voices who seem to traumatise me and repeat after my thoughts ( that in itself is really hard for me to deal with ) and im still struggling to deal with it today. im always lying on the borderline of 'believing they are real people speaking to me' or 'not real people and they are all a part of myself'.

 

it's all a learning process for me and i'm sure others can agree that with time you start to learn about the nature of your psychosis. but for me i found reaching out to my mental health team really helps me unload all the stresses i experience. and talking to others who are supportive also helps. it took me a few tries with different pshychologists before i could settle with one that worked for me.

 

for me what kept a relapse at bay, was keeping linked with people im comfortable with speaking to about these issues, hallucinations, stressors, and life issues in general.

 

i hope this has helped you a little or had given you a glimmer or hope as i havent relapsed back to my first state since my first admission. and im healthy going to uni yet managing my traumas, stressors and voices in general. 

 

i hope you have a good day though~ with everything that comes along i know you'll get through it. if you can somewhat have hope within your life then things would look a little bit brighter. but i know that its easier said then done, but the positive people i have in my life has helped greatly and the energy that they bring to my life is somewhat helpful for me to look back on those during 'darker days' i have. so find someone you can speak to about everything so that they can be there for you in your toughest times. 

 

i also listen to podcasts which talk about mental health and it makes me feel less alone too.. (if this helps ahaha)

Re: Living with Psychosis

Hello @boba_milktea 

 

Welcome to the SANE forums! It's great to have you here and thanks for telling the community a bit about yourself.   I'm sure the forum members will be able to offer you support, information and connection. I'm the moderator on duty right now.   Feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum. You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works  https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage#community-guidelines

 

Take care.

Whitehawk

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