Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Allysson]

My boyfriend has depression, the disease has been progressing, I am convincing him to have a treatment but I feel that my efforts are not enough he stops listening to me, he stop trying to find a way out, I really want to know if this can be cured I want to know if he can be saved   I don't want to lose the battle against this,  I don't want you to lose interest in healing, I don't know what else to do

[Determined]

Hi @Allysson and welcome to the forum,

It sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment, I just wanted to let you know you have been heard.

Unfortunatly there is no easy answer for you 😞 but I want to encourage you that reaching out  here is a big step towards looking after yourself.  Looking after yourself is equally improtant to looking after your boyfriend. 

Do  you have family or friends or a councillor that you can talk to about your fears and concerns and how to look after yourself while supporting your boyfriend? Unfortunaly you can only support him and encuurage him to get help, you can not make him better yourself. (If only it were that easy), he has to want to get help and follow advice.

I support my wife who lives with borderline personality disorder and major depression, we have been married for over 19 years so I  have some understandig of how hard it can be to watch and wait while our loved ones seem to self destruct 😞

Sorry I don't think I have been much help but just wanted you to know you are not alone. 

[Sophie1]

Hi @Allysson ... I echo @Determined s comments ... you are not alone ... I have also been living with my partner for 21 years who has major depression, generalised anxiety and last two years bipolar II ... it’s been incredibly tough and I suspect it always will be to an extent - I encourage you to keep reaching out here as this forum has proven to support me through many a dark time over the years - the people here are real people struggling with similar problems ... there is no magic answer - however hints and tips or ideas are always worth a shot ... I would encourage you to educate yourself as much as possible about the condition and different treatments and also about being a carer and what you must do to keep yourself alive and well xx I knew much of the root cause of my partners problems was likely to be several traumas experienced in early life - however it wasn’t until 2 years ago I started reading about trauma and the latest trauma therapies - so so so so wished I had of read about it earlier - it was like reading a description of our first 18 years together ... it gave me a deeper understanding of my partners condition and compassion too - anyway babbling now - but education is so powerful - keep searching till you find something that rings true for you and your partner ...