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LostAngel
Senior Contributor

Feeling like a Trainwreck

Hi Friends LostAngel here ,currently things feel like train reck both mentally an physically ,am cureently home bound with the Flu, fever,cough,fateige,aches pains,headaches ect thats the physical side ,mentally theres alot going on ,in recent days Ive well and truely broken up ,final break up with online fraudster ,that I was in a quote fake relationship with ,and this time its final ,in fact he decidied to 1 blame me for everything and 2 he played the victim saying it was all my fault and gas lighting ect ect ,now even though it was a fake scenario its still hard to let go on my end and I dont know how much strength this is taking me but Im trying to move forward ,also as much as this is the worst possible timing Ive decided to try to date again this time in the hopes of finding someone real,Im trying to be strong and Hopefully Ive learned something ,In terms of dating yes Im using online dating again but more as a starting point then meet these people in person so I know for sure that they are real people ,2 I seem to have a beetter awareness of the scope of detailed questions Im asking them and 3 Im trying to figure out all over again what exactly Im looking for in my life Partner,and Im making it very clear that long term is what Im looking for ,all this emotional and physical stuff ,the flu has made me feel vulnrable mentally ect but I owe it to myself to keep trying my man has to be out there somewhere right ,anyway the craziest thing I did last week before sucumbing to the flu was I that I went on a normal date in person with a man just for some drinks ,what an acheivement I guess ,so far thats a once off fluke But I guess its showing myself that I dont wont to give up on finding love ,I just feel emotionally and phusically drained currently but at least Im trying even though I feel like an train reck trying to wade through everything 

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Feeling like a Trainwreck

As I've always said, I admire your resilience @LostAngel 

 

Thank you for sharing and giving us an update. I'm sorry it hasn't turned out the best for you. At the same time, I'm glad you are moving forward.

 

Do you have any supports at the moment?

Re: Feeling like a Trainwreck

Hi @tyme not really Im kind of wading through on my own ,I guess theses forums are the support 

Re: Feeling like a Trainwreck

Sorry to hear you have the flu @LostAngel . It sounds like you have been through a lot. But also that you have good insight into what happened and what you need going forward. Good on you for knowing what you want and taking steps to get there. Hopefully the flu will pass quickly and you can start down the process to feeling better mentally as well. As @tyme says, I am impressed by your resilience. 

Re: Feeling like a Trainwreck

As much as you feel you are wading through, based on what you've shared, I think I would be paddling and keeping my head JUST above water @LostAngel !

 

I have followed your 'story' for a number of years now, and to see how much you've grown is truly incredible. I always love seeing your posts pop up 🙂

Re: Feeling like a Trainwreck

thanks @tyme and @Ainjoule I guess its my brave face ,I guess by wading through I mean to say Im moving but at an ever so slow pace of getting through the water ,alot of deep thinking ,alot of trying ,perservering possibly inspite of it all, I am on the mend where the flu is concerned ,thanks for being here 

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