Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[outlander]

your welcome, im often thinking of you even without many words to say @Faith-and-Hope i know things are tough for you right now as well

[Teej]

Not sure if you are around @Faith-and-Hope . It seems like things are really rough. I'd love an update. Things with me are ok. I'll explain later but just wanted to be here for you for a bit. 💜🤗

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Teej 👋💕

I'm managing so far, but yeah, it's rough ..... soon2BX (latest name) is being as invalidating as he can be and smeering his new woman all over my life, and our kids' , in our housing complex where he is living with her and her 2 young kids ...... it's like he can't be big enough of a :pile_of_poo:.

I am gritting my teeth and ignoring all that as much as possible, but he is using the kids as pawns (no surprise there, right ?!) ..... trying to make me back off from legals by the fact that he is using them as "hunan shields".  

The kids keep telling me to just be myself and stick to my values ..... that who I am will come to the fore and the lies won't stick ..... that the truth will eventually light everything up and there won't be anywhere to hide, or hide what he has done either.  

My lessons coming back at me through them ..... ironic, isn't it ?!

[Teej]

I'm so sorry you are going through this @Faith-and-Hope . You don't deserve it. What you do deserve is your amazing kids who have learned valuable life lessens that are being parroted back at you. 😘. 

I knew he would use the kids. It's so wrong but being a control freak he will be looking for whatever control he can get. Keep to your goals and values. You also deserve to have a good settlement out of this. So many women walk away from what they deserve to be peace keepers. It's not right! On the death knoll I stuck to my values and stuck up for myself and won. I hope you will too. 

I think so much of divorce is about power, very little has to do with what is right and fair. In my situation sticking up for was right and fair often escalated him trying something new, but I had nothing like what you are going through. 

The mind games and stuff he's obviously doing to unnerve you is just wrong. I'm so hoping it gets dragged out for what it is.......total selfishness and no respect for the past. 

[Teej]

@Faith-and-Hope  I'm guessing there may be an iPad face plant, it's all good if you do/have. So glad to have caught up for a bit. 💜🤗😘

[Faith-and-Hope]

It's so far beyond a shame that we couldn't get a medical intervention before it came to this @Teej .... but maybe this thing, whatever it  turns out to be, is beyond a medical intervention anyway.  I am soooo hoping it all comes out and he is seen for what he is and what he has done ..... that the :pile_of_poo: sticks to what it should ..... and this woman that sat in my car with my husband and daughter, knowing full well that I didn't even know she was in our lives, wears it too.  

I feel so sorry for her kids.  One of ours is starting a family, and S2BX and his 🧛🏻‍♀️ are making complete a**es of themselves.

[Teej]

That's awesome about you having the next generation coming @Faith-and-Hope You'll be a great grandmother. Let's hope the legal stuff is done by then so you have a new starting point. I'm so sorry that I'm not sure what S2BX is yet. I'm really not up with much. I can't work it out at all. 🤦‍♀️

[Teej]

I'm figuring it is he who cannot be named but should be shamed 😉 @Faith-and-Hope and 🧟‍♀️ (the witch emoji was too cute ) is 🧛‍♀️

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Zoe7  ^^^^ keeping that a bit quiet yet ...... shhhh .... early days.

S2BX = SoonToBeEx @Teej ..... and yeah, 🧛🏻‍♀️ = Witch.

Nothing in the least bit classy or okay about what either of them have done.  Nothing honest.  Nothing decent.  Nothing I can remotely respect.  Different if we came to a natural parting of the ways, but this has been really low, and still is.

🤬

So glad you held it together and arrived at that sweet day of reckoning ❣️

[Former-Member]

Sending gentle thoughts your way @Faith-and-Hope