Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[JustOverIt]

Hi I am new,

dealing with a daughter who is scitzoaffective and bipolar and a husband who is bipolar. I don't have any support and no one to talk to. It is hard sometimes, it's  mentally, physically and financially draining. I am trying to balance work and taking care of them. I am the sole income provider and unless you live with someone who has a mental illness who is in an out of psych and constantly suicidal or someone who is difficult to help or deal with, due to a mental illness then I find most people just don't understand how hard it is.The mental health system for what ever reasons is not working properly supporting our people or us.But I am someones mum, some ones nan, some ones wife and I keep going because I love them, I need them to be happy,I need them to be well but medication can only do so much and if they decide not to take the medication, life can get very hard.If they drink alcohol with their medication, things can go wrong.If they take recreational drugs, things can go very wrong and not wanting to sound mean but sometimes it gets a bit wearing having to constantly pick some one up and dust them off when they seem unable to give a second thought to how their behaviour affects you.The world revolves around them and sometimes they are selfish due to their mental illness. Some times they are down right cruel. Any way shedding a few tears just needed to get it out. some times I am just over it.

[MamaLove]

Hi I am new too.

just wanted to reach out and give you a hug. Your life seems like a mirror image of mine, and the feelings you describe are exactly how I feel. It feels like there is no escape, and you cannot truly relax because you are always on alert, looking for signs of the next episode of when you have to pick up the pieces.  I try not to feel resentful as I know it's not their fault, but it's just so hard sometimes...

[Attahua]

Hi, I hear you!!!! I too have a partner with schizoeffective disorder and you are right......if they don't take their meds we pick up the pieces, if they dapple with substances we pick up the pieces and as for the mental health system.......WHAT mental health system???!!! They seem to be all about stepping in , albeit reluctantly, when things start spiralling out of control but then forget the client as soon as they are admitted to a pysch ward.....my argument has always been that why aren't they around before things get to that point, they should be checking in making sure everything is on track in the recovery process!!!! What is the point of a caseworker if they are not monitoring their client? I get that they may be understaffed , low on funds and resources etc but still!!!!!! Actually Mama bear hit the nail on the head when she said that we are always looking for signs of them getting unwell again. I actually thought it was just me that lived like that and that I was being over dramatic!!!! Remember to look after yourself as I am always reminded.....us carer's are no use to anyone if we are unwell too!!!!!! Easier said then done!!! I too am the main income earner and basically some days are simply exhausting!!!!