Lived Experience Forum

[Puggle]

Hello. After 40+ years of thinking I was insane, yesterday my psych confirmed it's actually rapid cycling bipolar 2. The overwhelming emotion I feel though is grief for all the years I was so afraid. It will pass, I know, but I needed to tell someone safe. Thank you for listening x

[Neb]

It is reassuring to have some sort of label. I ain't no- one other than a contributor, but I hope you find the site a safe place, particularly if you need to vent. All the so called " nuts" I have met, are really nice, tolerant folk.

[Alessandra1992]

Take care Puggle, that grief you are experiencing must be pretty tough. I hope though, your diagnosis also brings you new ways of working with your mental health that improves your mental health..it is sometimes really really hard to not think all that suffering was for nothing. It wasn't and it isn't.

[kenny66]

I led a pretty weird existance until I was told I had schizophrenia and treated. I dont have any memories of my life before 2006 when I had a great big head injury by getting assaulted.

I am told by a couple of friends from then I was smart but self distructive and basically wasted those years. So I only know from then until now, I guess I cant regret those years because I dont know them.

But in the 8 years since, I lost most of them because i didnt understand what was happening to me. I have caught up on when I was a kid by some cousins I didnt know existed. My life then was pretty terrible.

But I look to going forward not backward and hope my life from now until I get older might be ok.

[BatGuano]

Hello Puggle,

That was what Oscar Wilde called homosexuality, famously.  But I think that there's a lot of fear and judgement around Mental Illness too.

The truth is that most people are whacko at some time.  The lucky ones are those of us who realise it.  Then we can do something about it.

Welcome to the Zoo, friend.

[Puggle]

I'm finding people are kind, it's a relief but few actually understand. It's great to find a site where I can rEad and say yeah I do/feel that!

[Puggle]

Yes I've got a lot of stuff to work thru now. My first thought was all those years of dealing with the abuse I've suffered was for nothing, then my psych said if I hadn't dealt, unlikely I'd even be here today to have this breakthrough. I've thought about and tried to make the worst decision so many times.

[Puggle]

Thank you so much for sharing with me!

[Puggle]

Welcome to the monkey house lol. Yes I'm starting to get a tiny inkling of what Oscar and others must go thru. Being judged for something which you have absolutely no control over.

[Puggle]

Today I bottomed out. Found myself at a happy event which I was enjoying, surrounded by happy people with tears running down my face feeling so desperately sad. One of the up sides of the rapid cycling flavour of bipolar is that I know in a week this will pass. But it SUCKS being like this.