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Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

My husband has just been diagnosed with bipolar level two. He has been misdiagnosed for two years with anxiety and depression and no medication has been working and we now know why.
now that we know he has bipolar two, his behaviour makes so much sense to us. But in his manic phase, he left the family home. This was one year ago, and he still says that he is unable to come home because it is too much for him. He has not yet been medicated, as we are Going to see a psychiatrist in a weeks time. I'm just wondering how much of his behaviour do I excuse? Are his decisions conscious ones, or is everything in him mind clouded by this mental illness? Im just trying to understand what's real and what's not and what I excuse and what not to.
Will much change when he’s medicated??
This is very confusing any help would be appreciated thank you


Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Hi @Butterfly18

Sorry to read about the division in your family. This must be so hard for you.

I was diagnosed with bi-polar quite a few years ago.

Everyones situation is the different but what I read from your post, your husband has made a conscious decision to not move back to the family home as it's too much for him - that is a choice he made for whatever reasons he has. Can we say that is the disease talking and not the person's conscious decision. In my experience there no.  It really is up to you what you are willing to tolerate, I don't know if anyone else can tell you that. 

Me personally - I would not leave my husband or family because of an illness. Bi-polar can cause mood changes and sometimes we can act bizarrely, anxiously, depressed and lose touch because of it - but we our still our own unique individual person and we all make personal choices - have different values and levels of commitment like any other person healthy or ill.

Your husband may get better when medicated. Why did your husband wait all this time to seek help and be medicated? Is he really committed to keeping his family together? May be a few questions to ask yourself for answers. No one can answer that for you.

My husband was there for me when I had a breakdown and it caused tension but brought us closer in a lot of ways as we were there for each other. I think he wanted to run away a few times but his love kept him there by my side. There has been times I have wanted to run away as things did get very stressful and way too much for me at home but my love for my family would not allow it. I resolved to get better to keep my relationships and that is what I did. 

I hope this has helped a bit.

Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Thank you for sharing
He was diagnosed as having depression and anxiety and medicated for it which probably made it worse.

There’s a lot of childhood trauma.
I’ll wait to see hownis app goes next week and hope that he can get some medication and proper therapy through a psychiatrist

Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Hi @Butterfly18

If he was given the wrong medication it could of made things worse for sure. My bi-polar was triggered by horrific childhood abuse so I understand what you mean. Wishing you and your husband all the best for the appointment with the psychiatrist. I hope this round of treatment and therapy will help your husband and that everything works out to the point where you are both happy. Please let us know how you get on. Smiley Happy

Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

-enigma- can I ask how the medication affected you? Do you still experience episodes whilst on meds?
I am aware of possible relapse, but I wondered how it changed your life?

Thank uou

Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Hi @Butterfly18

So sorry for the late reply as I only read your post now. The tag didn't take as there needs to be an @ in the beginning of the person's user name for them to be notified of a post.

How did the medication effect me? There is a very long history there and different medications had different results which varied greatly. Over the years the type and amount of meds have improved somewhat as well and the dose cut down dramatically - for me anyway. There was some years a long time ago where I was on 28 pills a day - uppers, downers - horrible. I have had ECT which didn't work for me.

Currently it is changes in lifestyle, changes of my thought processes from catastrophe, negative to more positive ones and learning coping strategies that have helped me the most deal with my disorder. The disorder itself has improved and has stabilised to where I need no meds for now  - but I did relapse some months earlier and went on sleeping meds as I can be up all night and emotions everywhere - then I will crash with very low, lows, irritability and high anxiety. Controlling worry and stress factors can help prevent that. It really isn't black and white. Also my GP ran medical tests and discovered I had physical disorders that triggered bi-polar (thyroid and hormonal imbalances etc) which helped regulate the symptoms but indeed was not the only cause.

I had a family member make an attempt on my life when 7 in the home  and that triggered a psychotic episode and multiple personality disorder in me (which now they call DIDs). This was hushed up and "I received no treatment". It was a nightmare. I also continued to be abused mentally, emotionally and physically. The psychosis and MPD lasted for approx one year and went away on its own (it happens) - indeed unadvisable to not have treated as I went through hell - I was lucky there it fixed itself. But I did have extreme moods swings still, displayed risky behaviour, one one minute, down the next, alcohol addiction - the list goes on and a bi-polar diagnosis was made in my late teens. 

My mental health issues and treatments have a long history. Mood regulators helped for awhile but the side effects of most meds where very problematic as they were worse in cases than the illness (turned me into a zombie after being on them for too long so tried periods without). Only ending up back on them - on and off with some ant depressants added in the mix (some helped, others did not).

The last couple of years I am doing well without meds (except sleeping meds) but I do relapse occasionally (have flip outs) -  but with the support of my husband and other methods mentioned I can get myself back on a somewhat even keel. Sleep, routine, healthy lifestyle,,positive thinking, keeping my mind and body fully active and focused (distracting from negative thoughts), abstaining from alcohol completely and correcting any physical problems helped me a lot.  So it was not just meds that contributed to my stability today.

Hope all went well with the appt and I hope the above helped.


Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Thank you so much for sharing such personal information with us! Your strength and ability to pull through is really admirable and I wish you nothing but the best!

I will watch the videos to gain more insight
Thank you again

Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Hi @Butterfly18,

I am so glad to see you have gotten some beautiful responses from @Former-Member

I have just moved your post to a more suitable area so you can continue to get responses here.

Hope you are enjoying the forums!


Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Thank you @Butterfly18 and @Lauz. Hope things are going a bit better for you and your husband @Butterfly18. Hope the videos helped. Others should jump in soon with their lived experience as well Smiley Very Happyx

Re: Bipolar 11 I need help understanding

Hello @Butterfly18, @Former-Member, @Lauz

my Husband has Bi polar 11

how are you today @Butterfly18

For urgent assistance, call: