17-05-2018 08:12 PM
For many of us finding we have anxiety is like we've had it all our life but an event comes along that pops the cork and it hits us hard.
In 1973 I'd joined the RAAF and I had anxiety then. At 21yo I joined Pentridge Jail as a prison officer. That took my anxiety to a whole new level as did my next profession as a PI at 24yo. During this period my brother took his life. But it was at the age of 31yo that the cork popped.
A simple situation of mini corruption faced me. I'd prided myself of my honesty through those other professions. Suddenly, as a council worker, a dog ranger, I was told to give preferential treatment to a politician. In that period Australia had politicians that wanted such treatment to avoid import tax (the colour TV affair and the Paddington bear affair) in both cases the customs officer tried to enforce tax and the pollies tried to avoid it. In my case I refused to allow preferential treatment to tarnish my reputation.
At work while arguing my point I got a sharp chest pain. Initially a heart attack was diagnosed. This was later changed to panic attack. I had to change my job.
I entered therapy. I learned muscle tensioning exercises (still doing them today) and had to learn to relax. Also law enforcement was no longer an option. As my therapist said "its no good being rigid black and white when people have 8 billion shades of grey".
A change from city to country living was essential. A reliable car. Medication. Financial budgetting was an important move to relieve stress but one of the most important moves was ridding my life of toxic people that didn't contribute towards my life in a positive manner.
Im quite extroverted however to survive among people I had to choose when to be an introvert and hide away for a while. This "back to basics" was amazing. Watching a flower bloom can take an hour, watching a full sunset 2 hours. That was the final step I needed to take and that guidence was received from a non religious man called Maharaji Prem Rawat. His wisdom helps millions.
Maharaji first became famous at 9yo when comforting grieving villagers. On TV at 13yo. Now in his 70's travels the world.
Maharaji prem rawat youtube sunset
Maharaji prem rawat youtube the perfect instrument
And many more.
Overcoming my anxiety took 22 years. Like many illnesses all ingredients have their place. As one they work. Leave one out and it flops.
Thankyou for reading.
18-05-2018 05:44 PM
18-05-2018 06:12 PM
18-05-2018 06:19 PM
18-05-2018 06:51 PM
Hi @BlueBay. Havent seen you for a while, I've been a little quiet of late. I'm with you though, and agree it is nice to have @Whiteknight here now. I'll bet you were not banned twice by that same 'other forum' though? I suspect I'm unique in that regard. Long story I'm afraid, and incidentally in my second stint I was a volunteer peer support person. So much for valuing and taking care of their volunteers!
@Whiteknight, so good to read that you have essentially overcome your anxiety. Quite an achievement I have to say. I know others who have said they too have overcome their anxiety. I have C-PTSD and I have to say that despite numerous therapies I seem to have very little improvement in either my extreme anxiety or my bouts of depression. Admittedly there seems to be a constant barrage of occurances which cause additional setbacks. But I honestly cannot see my way through ever recovering from anxiety. But I guess your story offers hope and inspiration, so I thank you for that.
19-05-2018 10:26 AM
19-05-2018 12:59 PM
Oh gosh @Whiteknight. Where do I start? I only wish that it were possible to limit the number of anxiety causing events.
But how do you change the fact that (for example) last October I was contending with a husband who was recently diagnosed with stage IV (incurable) melanoma and in hospital extremely sick for 3 weeks. My Mum had just undergone a mastectomy for advanced breast cancer. My Dad was diagnosed with heart failure. My brother was suicidal from suffering from PTSD after a car accident which caused the death of his 11yo daughter 2 years prior. I was his support person on his safety plan and was getting daily calls from him. I had an 18yo nephew who was going off the rails with drugs and suicide attempts as well. Personally my PTSD had been severely triggered as a result of an extremely unexpected event which truly knocked me for six. And at that same time I had the rug pulled from under me when a forum I'd been involved in as a volunteer at the time decided to ban me. All at a time I needed that support the most. I truly cannot see how any organisation could do that to someone who had gone out of their way to volunteer and devote a considerable amount of time to helping others. That role was very important to me and my wellbeing. It was important for me to help others, and it was ripped away. Essentially because one person (and subsequently others) had set out deliberately to undermine me.
I can tell you that I was in a highly vulnerable state after that. And not once did anybody from 'that' organisation ever bother to check on my welfare or offer assistance. Not even a thanks for the work I did there. In fact all they did was to remove my status from my profile in order to try to wipe away any evidence of my existance. I was thrown to the wolves by them. Personally I would never have anything to do with them again while the current management exists. Sane are great and the people here are fantastic. As I have said before WK, we are privileged to have you here. The other organisation's loss for sure.
My difficulties have continued since then with further major health problems with family and husband and issues for myself as well. So the anxiety continues, unchecked it seems.
How I wish I were like you and able to overcome my anxiety. Thank you for posting and for sharing your feel-good story.
19-05-2018 02:32 PM
Thats a real roller coaster.
I'm of the belief that there is always one ultimate way to tackle all problems...determination to procede with positivity. After all, how else can we face our problems?
That doesnt mean we cant take time to get over htem, or adapt to them, or even grieve for those people that lose their good health or pass away.
Life is a seesaw. one one side tragedy, accidents, poor health and hurt. The other side is what you can muster and bring to the playground that balances that peice of equipment. If it isnt balanced then we have ongoing issues all through our lives.
Take childhood trauma. That will permanently tilt your seesaw low on the negative end for it isnt curable fully, it will always be there. But you can keep it where it is in that position rather than allow it to slide down further. We have to make thge most of what hand we are dealt. Introducing treatment, a suitable job that isnt near people or food is another good way ....in essence making the radical changes to your life to keep that seesaw stable.
It's all theory and after 10 psych visits I was told I know the theory but have trouble putting it into practice.
So you're not alone. The changes, the trauma that inflicts our lives are difficult to cope with. Your's is an exceptional case but the theory doesnt change. It's just harder to keep being hopeful that good times will return and stabily arrives. And it will.
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