Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Mammoth  effort @Smc, wow!  The kitchen here is upsidedown atm. Surely all my chucking out has gotta dtart showing a clearing soon. 

[Smc]

@Former-MemberI find it so frustrating that I can fill the rubbish bin, but looking over the room it came out of, I can't see the empty space it should have left behind. But yes, there has to be a point where we start to see it making a difference.

Skirting board rodent holes are now galvo plated, and some short pieces of galvo roof capping have gone over a gap in the corner. I've put a base of housebricks down under where the machine's going, both so that it's up off the floor a little bit, and as extra rodent barrier. They're jammed up against the galvo piece that I put in place. I'm a bit concerned about whether there are any access points behind the washtrough cabinet, which sits out a little from the wall. I can't see any evidence of them moving in and out of the gap, so I hope not.

I had originally intended putting in 3-4 courses of bricks but nope, not happening. Having been flooded back in 2011, it would be nice to have the machine above the floodline, but we do get reasonable warning if it's likely to happen. I'd have time enough to shove some besser blocks or something underneath if necessary. Whenever we get the chance to properly renovate, flood resistance will be a priority.

[Smc]

The new machine is in, and happily sploshing through a load. 🙂
So that's probably the last of the declutter/sort out happening here for now. Will be doing likewise at my parents' house next week, but will have very little internet access.

[Former-Member]

Well done @Smc, sounds like we have dimilar struggles.  The rodent problem here is apparently the cause of the fridge malfunction.  Bro3 (gadget man) pulled it out and found wires chewed and says he'll fox it.  Not holding my breath though.  Finally found the rat carcus (bated) a while back, so not convinces this is the real problem.  At least he's trying.  I'll just use the spare one.  

My mum collected strange and most varied things - I cant find a theme. Today i roled up quality educational children's posters, like x12 of them.  I think she got stuch in getting things she once wanted / needed (with us x6 kids) but couldn't afford.  I do it myself often.  "i know i need that for something - not sure why but i'll rrmember later... "  in Op shops we justfy it by the 'bargain price' and 'last chance' mentality i think.  Anyway.  I often worry mums looking over my shoulder about to clobber me lol.  And your parents - think i read they are in care now but want to remotely access all their house pocessions through you guys - that's hard. 

Feels like I'm shuffling stuff here all day. Bought a x4 drawer filing cabinet that locks,  to put chemicals away from dad.  Maybe could have locked the cupboards but too hard & need the extra drawers for sorting... Hurt myself getting it out of the car. All i gotta do now is clear the space for it & the spare fridge beside each other. 

Spent 2hrs fixing the exit screen door to my room that someone bent trying to get in to.  Guessing it was the pesky sibs - cant imagine ehat they want but they've proved i cannot trust them.  Having trouble closing all three doors atm (only this last couple months). 

Do you have a time limit to empty your parents home? 

[Smc]

@Former-Member, Dad's pretty right with what he's got at the home. Mum often asks us to bring things in for her. We've had to put our foot...feet..??? down and say no, unless she gives us something she's not using to take away.
The fact that they went in as "unplanned admissions" due to health deteriorating means they never got the chance to go through and decide what they were taking, but I think Mum possibly would have been too overwhelmed to be able to make such choices. And because the house had gotten pretty chaotic (almost as bad as ours... um, ooops...) she would have had trouble finding things anyway. There were requested items that we finally found by chance after many months of her repeatedly asking for them, and they were nowhere near where she thought they were.
Dad's got a few special mementos and regular deliveries of Phantom comics. He joins in with a lot of the activities that the home offers, and seems generally content. Sometimes bored. In the past he probably would have read novels or science/nature magazines to keep his mind active, but his memory isn't up to that any more. He forgets what he's already read and loses the thread too quickly. Phantom comics however are very visual, somewhat predictable, and because they're often originally published as daily newspaper strips, they include occasional recaps of the story "for those who came in late". 🙂 I somehow don't think that they were trying to create dementia-friendly reading material, but hey, they succeeded.

Our time limit is basically "before their currently available funds run out". Mum's care is turning out to be more expensive than Dad's (serious lymphedema and frequent related infections) so her funds are dropping faster. House sold within the next year would be good, but I'm really not sure whether we can do so in that time. Both house and shed are very full, we're a long way away and can't be there for long stretches, and don't have enough space to bring it all down our way to sort it.
As well as our adult older daugher's MI problems, we've got a younger daughter in high school who gets very worried about her Big Sis, and very stressed about me being away. The two adult sons are more self reliant, but yeah... I can't disappear to my parents' place for a month to sort and toss. Sometimes a week is pushing the boundaries, for me as well as for my family. I end up too burnt out to be any good at sorting, and really need to head home again to recover.
Won't say any more about that here. It's already getting pretty off topic. If you check out my Dissociative Identity Carers thread you'll get a bit of a broader picture of what's happening.

[Former-Member]

Helllooo fellow declutterers

All slow going here, have mainly been dealing with paperwork but have a couple more things ready to give away. 

[Smc]

Hi @Former-Member. Cute cartoon. 😛

I need to do some clearing up before our youger daughter arrives back here tomorrow with a friend who's staying for a few days. We need room to all sit down at the dining table aka home office aka lost and mislaid objects drop off point...

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member & @Smc, good to see you. Lost your June23 post sorry - that's a great idea, the Phantom comics being "dementia-friendly" reading... I must ask at the book store. I'll go to your DID thread. For some reason i tend to have the concentration span of flea on the forums. Probably because of the hypnotic screen lol.

You sure have your hands full clearing out for your parents. I'm getting closer to it every day. Dad nearly fell twice today, and I'm very tired.

Took another bootload to charity last week. Keeping what's sorted separate is hellpful. I joined the two 2seaters together on the back veranda to create an off the ground space to dump all the outgoings. One of my bugbares is having to clean EvErYtHiNg, grr - even the stuff giving away. Mum would like that someone's using it. I'm hoping my siblings will be glad of my help and not bitch. Its slow cause i get overwhelmed with other stuff but easier living here.

Yesterday i cleared another square meter in the shed. That felt good. so much 'not good for anything' stuff out there.

[Former-Member]

A square metre of shed space is  stellar job @Former-Member  ... leading by example

[Smc]

Well done @Former-Member.

Our Dad's shed is actually likely to contain some real treasures. Dad had an eye for interesting objects, both ancient and modern. Particularly ancient. A lot of what's in there will need to be split half and half between us. His hand tools in particular are the good quality old ones. Modern ones are rarely better. Old tool steel was stronger.